My No-Good Sense of Wonder

My name is Violet and I am crazy about you... Atleast, that's what i should've said. It came out more like, "uhhh hey, sorry for cheating."

See, I tend to hide. What I mean by hide is that people don't really notice me. I'm sort of a sniper if I may-- I watch my targets very closely and make a move when necessary. Anywho, there was this one boy, if you could call him a "boy." He is more like a gentleman: kind, gracious, and don't forget handsome. He definitely wasn't the average jock. It was all quite confusing why he was even friends with the popular crowd. I first noticed him in my art class, where instead of chatting with his friends, like normal high school students would, he grabbed the paint brush and tuned everyone out as he proceeded to do a picture of a grown man walking his dog in an open valley. The bright colors covered his paper, and that is when I knew he had more on his mind then the next party he was going to attend. I started to watch him more often, less like a stalker, but more of a girl who wants to get to know him. How come he was so much different? What made him upset? What twisted his mind? He saw the good in the world when no one else could. The boy was also in my calculus class. He and I were the smartest, having the highest grades on all of the tests. We sat in rows, and I sat on his left. Sometimes, I could smell his cologne, rushing up my nose and quickening my heart rate. I wanted to savore that smell for forever. I wondered what was wrong with him... It was test day; thus, the classroom was silent and the students' eyes glared at their papers with irritation. The test was a breeze to me, for I had already finished it as the others were only half-way through. I turned to my right to gaze at his face. His hair was always fluffy and clean, and his eyes seemed to changed colors from light green to baby blue depending on the lighting. If I could, I would stare at them all day and dream about reading his thoughts. I looked to his paper where he was doodling-- you'd think he would have just turned it in, but he was doodling! I was quite mesmerized by the precise work. Mr. Rogers barely looked up from his computer screen, but today wasn't a normal day, I guess. "Ms. Stanley, please come see me now." He basically interrogated me in a hushed tone, trying to let the other students test in peace. He accused me of cheating and gave me a zero. To top it all off, he sent me to the principle's office, but only after he forced me to apologize to "Mr. Adams." Really, he was so beautiful that he should never even have had a first name. I hadn't even had a normal conversation with this man that I was extremely attracted to, besides discussing an answer to two or three problems. I wished that I wasn't so nosy. Why couldn't I have the nerves to even tell him a story of my dogs, or the weather, or something generic enough to not sound creepy? I was crazy about him, and all I had to say was, "uhhh hey, sorry for cheating." The room was silent, not like the movies where all the girls giggle and the boys make faces. No. I was too unnoticeable to even deserve the mocking. He looked at me and shrugged. Shrugged! Did he even care? Wasn't he mad or disappointed? Did he think I was cheating the whole time now? The principle instructed me to move seats, that was all. I think he understood that my embarrassment was twenty times worse than anything else he had up his sleeves. It sounds cliche, but really, I'm still to scared to return to the class, even though I have been standing in the halls for four minutes now. Wish me luck.





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