My Life Is What I Like To Call Unpredictable (Chapter Ten)

April 23, 2010
By , richmond, VA
Mom took on a very calm look, Dad’s face turned beet red, almost purple, “you’re WHAT?!” he exploded. “What do you mean you’re pregnant!”
I sighed, if only my dad could be like Juno’s, “yes, Dad, I am so sorry… but I’m still your little girl,” I said quietly.
He shook his head, “no, my little girl wouldn’t have been this stupid. No way.”
I reached out to him, “no!” he yelled and shoved me back into a chair, Lillian rushed towards me while Mom grabbed Dad by the arms, “don’t EVER touch our daughter like that again! She made a mistake! If I don’t recall, so did you! You are not thinking rationally!” she shouted at him.
“I’m the only one who IS thinking rationally!” he yelled at her. “And that girl made the right choice and got rid of it!”
My mouth popped open, I started to feel nauseous, I ran to the bathroom, Lillian not far behind and puked my guts out. “I’ve never seen him that mad,” I whispered when I was through.
She nodded, “I know how you must be feeling right now,” she said.
I shook my head, “I’m so scared, Lillian. What if I can’t do this? Maybe I should have one…”
“Don’t start doubting yourself, Serenity. You have always been strong, don’t stop now.”
I took a deep breath, centering myself, “okay, let’s go back out there.”
They were still yelling, but I felt more calm, I stepped in between them, “I’m pregnant, you can’t change it, can’t ignore it, can’t yell it away,” I said looking into both of their eyes. “Either you accept me or you don’t’,” I said, tears breaking through my voice.
“Honey, of course--” Mom was broken off by Dad, “I don’t accept,” he said, anger flashing through his brown eyes. “You have made a terrible mistake, I will never forgive you for this, Serenity Love Shining. You don’t give me serenity anymore, Serenity. You’re just a painful reminder of everything I’ve done wrong in my life,” he said simply. “Get out,” he said.
I stifled my sobs, and turned sharply, but Mom’s next words stopped me, “no, YOU get out. You will not talk to our daughter like that, and you will not kick her out. This is my house, hell, I’m paying for it while you just get drunk all day. You get out, and do not come back until you can accept everything she is, Phil.”
I was crying silently now, he strode over to me, as if he was going to strike me, and then said simply, “I will never accept you. And you shouldn’t be crying, you are the stupid s**t who caused this to yourself.”
He went into their room, grabbed a suitcase and clothes, and left without another word.
I collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily, noting almost out of my body that I was edging towards hyperventilation. Mom and Lillian tried to calm me down, and eventually my breathing returned to a normal speed, but I was still torn up inside.
They helped me into my room, and then I just laid down and stared at the wall. They thought I was sleeping, but I wasn’t, I heard them.
As usual, Lillian avoided normal chit-chat, and cut straight to the chase, “why did he react like that?’”
Mom sighed, “when he was a teenager, he got a girl pregnant, and that girl killed herself, along with the baby, and ever since then, he always swore his daughter would be the image of sheer perfection, or as close as she could get, and she wouldn’t make stupid mistakes like this…” she took a deep breath, “I’m not saying that it wasn’t… a mistake, because it was, but what he said? No, he had no right to say such things to our only daughter, who has loved him without cause for so long. She has such a big heart, such a full life ahead of her, I’m only scared for her.”
Lillian nodded, I just knew, “you’re awfully calm about this.”
“I knew she had to make at least one major mistake, because she never makes small ones, ever.”
Lillian seemed to agree with that, and said as much, then they started back to normal chit-chat. I sighed and closed my eyes, going to sleep. I had a fitful dream about Dad yelling and screaming, and Bentley rushing towards me, but never quite reaching me, and the baby, wow, my stomach was huge. She (it’s a she!), was trying to come out. I didn’t understand it, but I woke up with a horrible feeling of… I couldn’t’ name it, just something… foreboding.
I ignored it when I heard my phone ring, I picked it up, and was relieved to hear Bentley’s voice, “how’d it go today?” he asked sweetly.
I smiled into the air, “it was alright, thanks, honey.”
He laughed, “are you okay? You sound a little… stuffy.”
“Oh, I’m just chilled. I had a bad dream.”
“Oh, really? What about?” he asked curiously.
“Um, I can’t remember,” I lied, even though I remembered it fully, I couldn’t tell him about it. I didn’t want him to worry anymore.
“Oh, well that’s okay, just try to forget it completely. Are you ready for school tomorrow?”
I took a deep breath, “I guess…”
“Well, I should probably get to bed, you know I wouldn’t want to be too tired tomorrow, I’ll see you then.”
I said goodbye, and then fell asleep again after that.
I woke up to Lillian calling for me, telling me I would be late for school. I took a quick shower, applied gel to my hair, applied makeup, dressed in a pair of jeans and a purple v-neck cashmere sweater, put some clogs on, and grabbed my purse. I was ready to go.
I told everyone bye, and they assessed me to be sure I was really ready to go. Mom told me to call her if I needed to leave early, I would, but I couldn’t show fear, not now. Plus I would need days off later, I’m thinking.
I drove to school, and met Bentley in first period as usual, I was on the lookout for Melanie and any of her crew who might try to beat me up, but they didn’t. No one even gave me the stink eye, though a few kids looked at me curiously, some with pity, I ignored them.
I walked in class, and let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, he kissed me good morning. “How are you?” he asked, noting how tired I looked.
I shrugged, “life’s rough. You?”
He smiled, “I’m doing alright.”
I nodded, and then I felt nauseous again, I ran to the bathroom. When I was in there, I used it too, and I noticed a little blood. Was this… normal? I hadn’t seen anything on this had I? Ohmygoodness, was something wrong with my baby? With me?

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studdedpressure said...
Jun. 4, 2010 at 1:26 am

please add the next 5!

it's really good!

smilee_xD replied...
Jun. 5, 2010 at 9:34 pm
awwh, thanks.:) i will.:D
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