Razed Expectations | Teen Ink

Razed Expectations

December 24, 2009
By Vanished BRONZE, Change, Colorado
Vanished BRONZE, Change, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 53 comments

Wisps of smoke danced into the wintry air from my lips, creating ornate designs that could never be replicated. I carefully tilted the corners of my lips into a smile that I meant to be wry. Of course, it's difficult to articulate emotions that I can't feel, but I find that irony is relatively simple to demonstrate. I inhaled the toxic vapors of the cigarette casually. Its sinister, black cancer couldn't cripple a seventeen-year-old boy with no lungs, let alone a heart.
I glanced in the direction of the horizon, and flinched. The sun was dying flamboyantly, casting its radiant colors across the sky. Its last waves of light caressed my cold, pale skin. I wanted to snarl rebelliously as I felt its warmth slide against me deviously.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
My muscles went rigid, and I had to focus madly on controlling my shaking hands. I would know that voice, that beautiful, disastrous voice, in the realms beyond that of Earth. I grated my teeth, reeling in the disturbing sensations that she unknowingly always aroused in me.
I cocked my body towards her arrogantly, and lifted my mouth into a crooked crescent moon. I felt my eyes flashing, but I worked vehemently to fixate an arctic, hard tone into the dark of my indigo irises.
“I find the sunset lifeless and meaningless, actually,” I countered flatly, and a beat too late.
She laughed merrily, and I struggled within myself as my mind and body became entranced by the beautiful movement of her laughter as the colors of the sun played about her.
“You amuse me, Darian. How can you have such a pessimistic view of the world? The sun will not be lifeless until it disappears beneath the horizon, and the night falls. It’ll rise tomorrow, though,” she said.
I dared not think of her name. I hated the way my soul-if I had a soul-thrilled when her voice lingered over my name. It reminded me of music. I had to close my mind defiantly as I thought of music. I wanted nothing that resembled passion.
“That’s an inane notion that foolish women entertain. You want poetry, and ridiculous vows of forever. You aren’t difficult to read. If you want that sunset to mean something, then you want unrequited love. It doesn’t work like that,” I growled unmercifully, angry at her for unleashing the flood of feelings upon me.
Her lovely green eyes shifted into hard emeralds.
“What do you know about me, Dare? And what’s so wrong with having dreams? And why are you talking to me like that? I was simply commenting on the sunset.” She tossed her red curls, clearly miffed.
I lifted my chin, and blew smoke in her face. It was easier on me when she was angry. I don’t know why she bothered with me. Why she was brave enough to confront me. Why she didn’t follow the laws of the superficial high school we both attended. Why she didn’t stay away from me, like everyone else.
“You’ll die from that smoking, Darian.” She glared at me. We’d had this argument a lot. I lifted my eyebrows, and turned away from her, signaling that the conversation was over.
She didn’t obey, and I sighed.
“You know, Dare, you could let yourself feel. You could understand it.” Her voice was soft, a whisper in the darkening air. She was air. My air.
I reviled the potency of the emotions I could feel pulsing through me. I ran a hand through my black hair nervously, my body skidding with strange, unfamiliar energy. I didn’t want to answer her. Why didn’t she leave?
I made a fatal mistake when I looked at her. Every nerve inside of me screamed, as though my body and internal organs were recharging hurriedly in the rare moment of my awakening.
I think I felt my heart beat hesitantly.
My voice seemed like that of a stranger. It had a rich, deep tone to it. It had color.
“Understand what?”
Something in my expression changed the way she was looking at me. It may have mirrored the arrangement of my own features. She became vulnerable in that instant.
“Kiss me.” She whispered brokenly.
Surprise jolted keenly through me. God, I wished I was numb again. Everything felt electric-too intense and too vivid. Emotions scattered across my being, a mutinous invasion of the raging war against myself. I was defenseless and an easy prey to her request. I breathed jaggedly, and there was a husky vibe to it. Want. I recognized it more clearly as it bloomed vibrantly through me.
And she was waiting. For me.
I destroyed the walls I had so warily built as I leaned towards her. She lifted a creamy hand and laid it tenderly against my cheek, the expectation making her bold. I moaned, and closed my eyes. My own hands loosened, and reached for her face greedily
Something hot-burning-ignited against my skin. I wrenched myself away, dazed by the unpleasant sensation. Had a spark traveled through our bodies? That’s when I noticed the cigarette kindling like a faint ember beside my marred hand. It had burnt me. The throbbing pain brought a wave of consciousness through me. Reality. And I stared at her face, inches from mine, and something clicked inside of me. Gears that began humming smoothly, like a tuned clock. I pulled back, and tossed her hand away like it stung. I grimaced as the vitals within me slowly resumed their state of nothingness, and shook my head to clear it of its nonsensical ideas.
She watched the change take possession of me, and tears began to collect in her eyes.
I found that I could care less.
I grinned at her, and mocked, “I taste of cigarettes, Clara.”
She got up shockingly to her feet, and backed away as if understanding for the first time what I was. Tears stained her nondescript face.
I smiled, that careful replication of a smile, and said acidly, “Did I humor your silly fantasies well?”
Her face crumpled entirely, and she pivoted away and ran sobbing from my scathing ridicule.
The sun died, and all was dark.


The author's comments:
Reality sings truthfully against the generic lyrics of fantasy. What does your soul and heart sing of?

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 206 comments.


on Feb. 13 2010 at 9:19 am
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 297 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

Wow. I really wish i could write that well. That was truly amazing.

on Feb. 10 2010 at 5:37 pm
Olivia892 BRONZE, Boston, Massachusetts
2 articles 5 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Something we were withholding made us weak, until we found out it was ourselves." --Robert Frost

"The stars awaken a certain reverence, because though always present, they are inaccessible" --Emerson

"No man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true" --Nathaniel Hawthorne

This is a truly great story. It held my attention from beginning to end and inspired in me both anger and sympathy for the protagonist which is a great feat. Plus, I’m a sucker for stories about thwarted love. I do wish, like a comment below has already said, that there might be a glimmer of hope although this didn’t bother me to much as it seems the story hasn’t ended yet. Overall a story. I wish I had the same talent. :)

on Feb. 9 2010 at 10:09 pm
ShainaIsDancing4ever, York, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No Day But Today"
-RENT

This is amazing!!! Your vocabulary is soo broad an it really helps in the description of the story! The emotions that you conveyed were great!! I LOVED IT!!! Keep writing and good luck!

on Feb. 2 2010 at 9:09 am
Courtney Coffman BRONZE, Dennison, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments
wow this was powerful, absolutely loved it

on Feb. 1 2010 at 7:34 pm
alexandraacreel GOLD, Lorton, Virginia
15 articles 8 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears."

I absolutely love this!!!(: the voice is so intense and I couldn't stop reading. I loved your descriptions because it made me feel like I was there. and even though I am a girl, I could feel all the Darian was feeling! this truly is an amazing piece.please please please write more!!! I very much enjoy your style of writing.amazing job on this! (:

on Jan. 31 2010 at 12:31 pm
PeaveLoveMe SILVER, Deland, Florida
7 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I shall never give up, make believe is too much fun."

This is so beautiful that I have no words to speak that could even budge towards describing it. Keep writing!

on Jan. 30 2010 at 11:04 pm
weirdonpurpose SILVER, Georgetown, Texas
6 articles 12 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
art is happening

this is.... beautiful. strange and rather eerie the way this is so much like my life at the current moment.... so many things match up. its a little spooky. but i thoroughly enjoyed the writing. very descriptive and really shows the emotion all at the same time keeping the reader on the outside. very very intriguing. now please, if you have the time, go and review my works as i have done for you.

on Jan. 30 2010 at 7:42 pm
adristar96 SILVER, Miami, Florida
9 articles 4 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a box of chocolate, You'll never know what your gonna get. :) Forest Gump

Beautiful I love it!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Swivel said...
on Jan. 30 2010 at 1:44 pm
That was awesome!!! Your writing is like a whirlwind!!!

on Jan. 29 2010 at 5:16 pm
Discreetnessity BRONZE, Des Plaines, Illinois
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies"
- Aristotle

This is simply amazing. It's beautiful how you used a thing usually seen as beautiful into something that can be seen as beautiful and ugly at the same time. I also was glad it wasn't one of those things where they automatically falled in love! I wish it would've been longer so i could read more!

on Jan. 29 2010 at 4:09 pm
Waterlogged BRONZE, Grapevine, Texas
1 article 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Winston, you are drunk." To which Churchill responded, "and you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I'll be sober,"-Lady Astor and Winston Churchill

That was really good. I actually felt like the character.

on Jan. 29 2010 at 3:45 pm
Vanished BRONZE, Change, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 53 comments
I'd be ecstatic to view your writing.

on Jan. 29 2010 at 3:43 pm
Vanished BRONZE, Change, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 53 comments
Thank you for the opinion, and for reading "Razed Expectations." Good luck with your writing, and may you remain healthy.

on Jan. 29 2010 at 3:42 pm
Vanished BRONZE, Change, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 53 comments
Wow. I don't believe I deserve such praise, yet I am euphoric that you should voice such words nevertheless. Thank you, meekly, and I sincerely hope that I may prove to fulfill the expectations you harbor towards my writing.

Somewhere said...
on Jan. 29 2010 at 3:21 pm
I like your story Demon.

Glint said...
on Jan. 29 2010 at 3:20 pm
I find my self being pulled into a whirlpool of your stories.

I am so intrigued by you, which is probably what you want to hear and

I understand it.

But honestly, here is a simile for you,

Your writing is like a rhythmic song lingering around me, it is wonderful.

So thank you very much for putting these words together and making my day brighter. Thank you for letting me know that someone can write as phenomenally as you can.

ZenGirl SILVER said...
on Jan. 29 2010 at 12:36 pm
ZenGirl SILVER, Taber, Alta, Other
5 articles 0 photos 13 comments
When I read the first bit you had me cringing with your intense descriptions - there were almost too many of them, to the point where I was reading two sentences of description for every one of action. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, since after the first bit I acclimated and began to enjoy the style, began to actually seep into the writing. It definitely struck a cord with me and overall I would like to say that, unless you went through a million drafts I don't know about, you write remarkably well and communicate beautifully the moment you chose to reveal. It was kind of like poetry...

AquaGem SILVER said...
on Jan. 28 2010 at 10:18 pm
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.

Really liked it! I'll admit it, I got a little nervous when I saw it's in "romance". Then I read your writing and fears went away, haha. Finally, not another teenage fairytale romance! Loved the mood and liked the ending. No swoons or "methinks the lady doth protest too much"-ing. Lots of substance here and deeper thinking. You keep writing and I'll do my part and keep reading ;)

on Jan. 28 2010 at 4:58 pm
SilverLuna SILVER, _________, Washington
8 articles 0 photos 230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Come fairies take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.".... W.B. Yeats.
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Wow, you voice is so intense. The way the energy is shifted from the numbness and the emotion and the fighting of the two is facinating. I loved this.

Though my work is nothing in comparison please look and comment on mine!

on Jan. 26 2010 at 5:37 pm
writerscramp PLATINUM, Green Bay, Wisconsin
33 articles 0 photos 130 comments

Favorite Quote:
Anyone who says winning isn't everything,
Has won nothing.
``Mia Hamm

Ah, but i never said that society is not warped. Today, vampires exist and shapeshifters run the night.

We have lost our minds. Everyone. You and I included, friend. Yes, even you seek for acceptence from the presence of judgement that is so real it is almost tangible. Why else would you seek for me, and others to understand.

Yes, I too know how you feel. However, I was too...afraid? hestitant? To post it.

I disagree. American things are do not scream idiotic and phony. Do you realize what you are saying? It is the American people, and what they use and make of the American things. I never said a rebel has to be tatooed or wear black to be a rebel.

I do what is best for me, and do not take into consideration what society believes i should do. I don't fry my hair (everyday), I don't spend an hour painting on a mask to hide the real me. I believe in what i want to, and so on. I just wanted you to see that although you seem to be so against, (mindless following), you still are eager to defend yourself, and avoiding judgement.

Well, i've given myself "typerscramp" so i'm going to end this.

And i know my writting on here is mediocre (i need a dictionary) at best. grammer, spelling, none is there. The ideas come and i rush to catch up so i dont pay attention to those details.

lol