So Alyssa Cut Deeper

By
The pain felt so invigorating.

So Alyssa cut deeper…and deeper.
Tears of blood started to trickle slowly, then catch speed down her arm. The blood splatter on her wooden ground, noiselessly. She couldn’t help but smile as the knife sliced through her arm, white hot tears burning down her cheeks. She wanted to finally suffer from something different then the pain she felt inside. Tingles crept down her spin, and she shivered, taking the blade of the knife to look at the blood that was clearly visible, dripping down onto her hand. She saw her reflection, her brown eyes staring back at her, tears filling the crevices under her eyes. Alyssa took the blade again, tracing it on the tips of her fingers, cutting ever so slightly on each of her fingers, the tips only. The pain was only too bearable…too addicting! Alyssa took a deep breath, slicing her jeans with the knife, then cutting her thigh.
Blood. Pain. And yet, she could feel.
Feel something other then misery. Feel pain and forget about her past. Forget and just feel! Forget about the memories that made her bleed on the inside. The memories that cut her like the knife she held in her hands, only the other knife was doing more damage, and causing more pain.
Soon, there was a puddle of blood on the floor, surrounding Alyssa. She was swimming in a pool of her own blood. She couldn’t help but remember, but feel the internal pain that she so desperately tried to elude. She remembered…

Her abusive mother…

Her parents divorce…

Her alcoholic father…

The death of her only brother…
She couldn’t take the knowledge any longer.
So Alyssa cut deeper.
Blood flooded its way onto her clothes. Yet still she cut. Deeper…and deeper. Her tears were mixed with her blood, and soon there were more tears then there was blood. She wanted the ach in her heart to stop, her mother to become the person she was before the death of her brother, to see her father without a whisky bottle in his hands, to hear her brother’s laughter. She wanted her family back. But that was never going to happen.
So Alyssa cut deeper.
She wanted to forget, to become numb. But no matter how deep she pierced the knife through her skin, she still felt the pain of her brother’s absence. She could feel her mother’s fist battering against her stomach. She could still feel the pain. She realized that the pain would never go away, just like the scars she was tattooing on her body. It would never leave her, until finally she would reunite with her brother. Till she met his same fate.

So Alyssa cut deeper...





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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

miracle_of_hope said...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 4:05 pm

hmmm. well written, with interesting focus.

i like 

 
MorningStar15 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 2, 2009 at 1:25 am
deep,,, symbolic,,, beautiful,,, i'm left breathless
 
Karlie V. said...
Apr. 1, 2009 at 3:50 am
This story is just so real. Its doesnt have that cheery cooky cutter ending... its just real. Fantastic writing and great story.
 
have_a_heart said...
Mar. 31, 2009 at 10:13 pm
that was extremely amazing i think it captured emotions beautifully 5 STARS!
 
Joanna said...
Mar. 31, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Oh my...
This is very unhappy.
It is written very well though. I like the way you repeated "So Alyssa cut deeper".
Also, it's very true. The pain never does really go away and the scars will be there for the rest of one's life.
 
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