At 2 A.M. I lost my best friend. I watched her give her life up because she believed she wasn’t pretty enough. She believed no one could ever love someone like her. She thought she was ugly and worthless. It was bound to happen. She would come home crying and saying how much she hated the world. All of it led to me finding out the grim truth: My best friend Alice was gone and there was nothing I could ever do.
Alice left me. I loved her so much but she could only hear the voices against her. She asked me to tell her story if something ever happened to her. So, here it goes.
Alice Nicole Smith was born April 6, 2000. Her parents loved her so much. She loved them too, but it all came to an end when she was 12, 4 years ago, when a drunk driver killed her parents. Alice did not blame the man or anyone really. It was then I walked into her life. I was the one she could talk to when no one else seemed to understand what was going on in her life. I never said anything back, only listened. She slowly started to become happy again, but then this girl, Jessica, ended all of that.
When Jessica wasn’t calling Alice all these horrible names I dare not repeat to her face, she was harassing Alice on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Alice would come to me crying every night. She would ask me why this all happened to her and why no one ever stood up for her. I never was able to give her an answer. I loved Alice but I could never help her.
After 5 months of the harassment, I find myself here telling everyone about Alice. She wrote these letters to the people in her life, the people who helped and the people who caused it all. Alice asked me to spread these around in an attempt to maybe stop what happened to her from happening to someone else. Here is the first one:
Dear Mom and Dad,
I miss you a lot. You always made me smile and always were with me. I never felt like I was alone. I know what happened was just a freak accident but losing you two is the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life. Nana is amazing and I love her but she does not understand me and can’t make me laugh and smile like you two used to do. I’m sorry I did not live longer. I guess this world is just not right for me. I will always be your little girl and I hope I get to meet you in heaven. I love you both so much.
Your loving daughter,
The next is addressed to her friend James.
I’m sorry. I know you will be mad and angry, but please know there is nothing you could’ve done. James you are my best friend. Please don’t cry. I’m in a better place now. You and I both know I wasn’t meant to be here. I tried and tried but I was never meant to be here. Other than you, who cared? I know, I know, people care, but no one showed it besides you. It will be okay James, things like this just have to happen. It is just a part of life. I am gone and that is okay. You must promise me you will keep living. You are the only person who really cared. I love you James. I will be watching you from heaven.
Your best friend,
The last letter she wrote is addressed to her bully Jessica:
I hope you know you are not the reason for this. All you did was point out the truth. I am nothing. I am alone. I am ugly. I can’t tell you why I am here and that is why I am leaving for good. Please Jessica, do not make other people feel the way I feel. I am only human. I had feelings. It hurt. Whether I believed what you said or not, it really did hurt. I would go home crying, bawling my eyes out. Everything you did, I just wanted to know why. Why did you hate me? Why did you do all of this and make me feel like I could die and no one would ever even care? I guess you got your wish though. I am gone Jessica. I left your world and will never come back. Please leave James alone. He did nothing to you. Please leave him out of this. If you even read this, I hope you know I am sorry for whatever I did to deserve this. I truly am sorry.
Alice hung herself. Before she went away, she was talking to me and saying how this would solve everything. I left these messages on the chair that she had knocked over on to the ground. Who am I? I am the person you talk to when you are “talking to yourself.” I know, I know you thought you were talking to yourself. I have always been here listening. Do not let what happened to Alice happen to you or anyone you know. Talk to people, tell them you care about them and if you do see some sort of bullying, say something. You may just save a life. I’ll see you soon. I'm always here for a listen.