The Great Unknown | Teen Ink

The Great Unknown

September 30, 2014
By Vallichor SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
Vallichor SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone goes through hardships, we just have different stories.


The sun pounded viciously on my back as beads of sweat rolled down my face. I hastily wiped my forehead with the back of my dirt-stained hand, not caring at all about my unhygienic state. I looked at the ground around me, searching for my green enemies that had made my day miserable.
     My mother thought it would be an amazing idea to finally get out of the house and 'branch out'. In my opinion, I thought I was doing just fine sleeping in until one and spending the rest of my day hidden in my room, watching hilarious videos or secretly reading fanfiction  on my beloved laptop. But no, I just had to go out, get a life, and earn money. I guess that made sense, since I literally did go out and buy my life: my computer.
     Thus, completely against my will, my mother dragged me out of my bed, out into the car, and into the unknown. Outside. That's why I was sweating profusely, making anyone in a ten foot radius turn away in obvious disgust. Even the lovely elderly people who I was gardening for, Mr. and Mrs. Euell, couldn't bear to stand near me to watch me work. I preferred to think that they just couldn't handle my glistening perfection, since ladies don't sweat. We shine. Though, that doesn't eliminate the fact that a little smell comes along with the shine. Hey, smell is beauty. Or was that pain...?
     So, as I thanked my mother over and over again for being such an angel for forcing this miserable life upon me, I tried to identify whether or not these green things were actual weeds or flowers. Like I said, my life was inside. On my computer. The only green that I saw on a daily basis was the beautiful landscape World of Warcraft had carefully created. Man, those graphics were amazing. Anyway, I think that explains my point. How would a fangirl nerd like me possibly know anything about the great outdoors?
     As I reached toward another unidentifiable green piece of nature, I noticed that my arm was a noticeably different shade than what it normally was, which was a beautiful ivory white that I had worked so hard for. I was so committed to keep my skin this shade of white that I dedicated myself to staying indoors all of the time. Obviously, since my skin was suddenly introduced to the insufferable sun for the first time in forever, my pasty white skin was now a lovely tomato red. To make the matter even better, the new color of my skin wasn't even constant. Red splotches were spread all around my arms and my hairy legs, creating a chimera effect.
        "Are you kidding me?" I said to myself in disbelief. After today, I would go to my mother and demand that she never let me outside again. I had enough of this nature stuff. It was absolutely horrible. "I'll show her what it's like," I mumbled to myself. "I'll just tie her up to a chair and leave her outside. That'll make her learn."
     "Are you talking to yourself?" A voice suddenly said, startling me into craning my neck back in such a way I believed I had given myself whiplash. "Oh, sorry for scaring you." I stared at the speaker, eyes widening in shock. He was hot. Not in the sweaty heat-exhausted way that I was, but in the Theo James way. If you don't know who Theo James is, shame on you. He's simply a beautiful Brit who casually walks on clouds and has all eyes adoringly on him even when he sneezes.
     I sheepishly tucked my long dishwater-blonde hair behind my ear, trying to make myself seem a little more attractive than what I had been moments ago. The bar was not set very high, I’m afraid. "Uh, no," My face flushed in embarrassment, "obviously not. Who would talk to themselves? Isn't that, like, weird?" I awkwardly said, mentally slapping myself afterwards.
     The brown-haired boy laughed, his dark eyes sparkling. "Well, it'd only be weird if someone was talking about tying someone up." He grinned at me. Oh no. The one time a boy actually notices me is when I am having a very important conversation with myself. Sigh. That's the way of life for the mentally insane.
        "Oh, I wasn't," I stuttered, trying to find words to say, "I was, uh, like, I was practicing for this... play that I'm in." The words fumbled out before I could stop them.
     "Really?" His perfectly sculpted eyebrows rose. "What is this play of yours about? Other than tying people up, of course." He stared straight into my soul, as if he knew my fib. I stared back, my own eyes widening as I struggled to not blink. After about three seconds, I gave in to my dry eyes and finally blinked.
     Quickly thinking, I said, "Well, it's a really great play, really. It's about this girl who is a mass murder and stuff and she goes around killing people, but before she kills them she ties them up and yeah." I spoke at a fast pace, hoping that whatever this boy heard sounded like an actual play.
     The boy started to laugh so hard that I started to wonder if he had been choking. That'd be a shame, since he's gorgeous and I don't know CPR, or whatever it is that saves people from choking. I'm a computer nerd. Not a smart nerd. "Are you dying?" I questioned, figuring out if he continued to laugh or choke or whatever he was doing, he probably was not okay.
     He finally stopped laughing, or whatever he was doing, and replied, "Eventually." Oh. His face was grave and he looked at me with such a sadness in his eyes that I was forced to look away. I should probably just stop talking from now on. Whenever I do decide to talk, it always turns into a mess.
     "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize-" I began until he cut me off. He probably had gotten tired of me talking too.
        "I'm joking!" His eyes crinkled; his seemingly always-there smile found its way back onto his face. I slowly let a smile creep its way onto my own face, unable to keep it off. "Oh, I almost forgot! When is this extraordinary play of yours?"
     My smile froze as I wished that I actually was a prospering actress. At least that would get me out of this predicament. "Um, it's, like, Tuesday?" I questioned. Only when the sentence flew out of my mouth like a bird escaping a hungry cat did I realize my mistake. Tuesday was tomorrow. Cue the infamously dramatic ‘dun-dun-dun’ sound effect.
     "Really?" He said, shocked. Or at least I thought he was. I still had a hunch that he knew I had concocted a fib. I nodded my head slowly, looking like a deer caught in headlights. "Cool, what time? I think I want to come." His tone had a little humor added to it, making my hunch become a finality.
        I knew I was caught red-handed, but I just didn't want to look even more like an idiot, if that was even possible. "Uh, five? At least I think... I have to get there early because, you know, I'm, like, in the play and it'd be stupid if I got there, like, when it started because I need makeup and, like, costumes and-"
     I was oh-so rudely interrupted by yet another peal of laughter. Man, my mom was wrong about this gardening stuff. I should have just become a comedian. By the looks of it, I would have been pretty successful.
     "Okay, I have to stop you there." He gasped for breath, still entertained my by comedian-antics. "I never thought," he gasped for breath again, "that you'd take it that far." The boy started to laugh all over again, much to my dismay. "Though, it made it even better than you continued on. Man, your face got so red!"
     My eyes narrowed into slits as I glared at this perfectly tan boy. "Did you ever think that my face was red because of the sun? Huh?" I lamely said. My attempt to gain back my dignity failed miserably as the boy grinned at me. Okay, I am tired of referring this guy as 'the boy'. "What's your name, anyway?"
      "Sure, sure. Whatever makes you feel better." His grin grew, if that was even humanely possible. "And it's Nate. Yours?" Nate's gorgeously dark eyes looked into my own murky brown eyes, making my face flush.
     "Dani." My voice sounded soft for whatever reason. Maybe I talked so much I started to lose my voice.
        Nate's foot nudged the ground, a small dent appearing as he did so. "Well, nice you meet you, Dani." He looked up at me, away from his masterpiece of a hole. The smile he wore on his face was faint, like the one Mona Lisa had.
     Turning the tables, I grinned widely at Nate, only to have pieces of my hair get stuck in my mouth. I ignored them as I spoke, "I guess it was nice to see you."
     "Yeah, though it's a shame that you don't have a play tomorrow... I would have gladly gone." I scoffed, still embarrassed at my past-self that had existed only a few moments before. I looked away from Nate, trying to get my flustered self under control. I looked towards the Euell’s house only to find Mr. Euell, the person I was supposed to be working for, staring straight at Nate and me. Crap.
"Uh, Nate?" I asked. "You might want to leave, Mr. Euell is glaring at me and I feel like I'm slowly suffocating." I envisioned Mr. Euell being Darth Vader undercover and shuddered.
     "Ah, he won't mind." Nate began. "I'm his grandson. I'm visiting for the week." He added.
        If my jaw could detach from the rest of my face, I'm sure it would have been on the ground. "Oh, um, that's great!" I feigned excitement. Truly, I was mentally slapping myself, yet again. Honestly, how many more times will I make a fool out of myself in front of this boy? It's like being weird in front of Nate is inevitable.
     "It's okay." Glancing over his shoulder, Nate saw his grandfather's unwavering stare. "I guess that's his silent way of telling me to leave you alone." He awkwardly laughed, looking down at his shoes. He started to walk away, I guess that was our goodbye, before he said, "I expect to see you tomorrow at the coffee shop in town. You owe me a date." And with that, he was gone.
     Smiling to myself, I started to pull at the weeds, silently thanking my mother for making me get out of the house.


The author's comments:

This story is simply about an antisocial girl who takes a journey to the seemingly great unkown. 

I wrote this piece because many people are too comfortable with their lives not containing any change or excitement. Dani, the main character, is quite relunctant to leave the safety of the indoors. Though, since she changed her routine-well, her mom did- she was able to meet a cute boy whom she wouldn't have met before. In the end, she's glad that she left her comfort zone.

 

 
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This article has 12 comments.


on Oct. 7 2014 at 3:50 pm
Vallichor SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone goes through hardships, we just have different stories.

I honestly am thinking about doing a sequel, but I'm probably not going to do anything that people expect to happen, you know? And hey, I am the Queen of cheesy. Those types of comments keep my reputation intact. :p

on Oct. 6 2014 at 10:14 am
StrangelyAcoustic BRONZE, Jakarta, Other
1 article 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
'There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.'-Oscar Levant
'We're all in the same game; just different levels. Dealing with the same hell, just different devils.' -Big D

You're welcome! What you said is what I mean, I myself just didn't know how to say it. Maybe you could make a sequel about the date, and maybe Dani can spill hot tea or something on Nate. (But please, please don't have such a corny comment about exploring out of your comfort zone if you do that) Thanks!

on Oct. 5 2014 at 5:54 pm
Vallichor SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone goes through hardships, we just have different stories.

I think the reason people think Dani is perfect is because she isn't, you know what I mean? She doesn't say the right things and is awkward in general, which makes her... perfect. Thank you so much for your comment! I truly do appreciate it.

on Oct. 5 2014 at 5:26 am
StrangelyAcoustic BRONZE, Jakarta, Other
1 article 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
'There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.'-Oscar Levant
'We're all in the same game; just different levels. Dealing with the same hell, just different devils.' -Big D

This was amazing! You made the character seem real, and I could completely relate to her. She was awkward enough for me to cringe for her, but not too awkward, so I didn't just give up on her (Even though she's a fictional character). I would definitely read whatever more of this I could.   I guess what made this perfect is that Dani is perfect. I feel like I'm right in her head the whole way through. Amazing piece of work!

on Oct. 4 2014 at 9:05 am
Vallichor SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone goes through hardships, we just have different stories.

Thank you so much! I'm glad you think she's realistic, which was exactly what I was going for. So many characters are perfect. They say the right things at the right time, and they speak perfectly. Yet, that's not how everyone speaks in real life, is it? Thank you for you comment, yet again! 

on Oct. 4 2014 at 5:05 am
Extraterrestrial SILVER, Singapore, Other
9 articles 4 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it's a plan!"

This is adorable! I love Dani's character and how socially awkward she is, especially how she has those witty internal monologues on the inside but gets tongue-tied when actually talking with someone. I guess what I'm trying to say is I love how you've made her a well-rounded, realistic character, instead of a character who claims to be "socially awkward" but only does so when it's convenient for themselves. If that makes sense. This is an amusing little piece, and reading about Dani's internal ramblings is just gold. I thoroughly enjoyed your story, so great job and keep it up! The only thing I can critique about your piece is that I don't share Dani's fanatic obsession with Theo James. 

on Oct. 3 2014 at 5:53 pm
Vallichor SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone goes through hardships, we just have different stories.

Thank you for the honest comment! I'm not sure if I'll write a second part to this. The general idea of this was short story was to help people realize that changing your routine isn't so bad. I'll keep the second short story in mind, though! I didn't have an exact age for her picked, but I was thinking probably 16 or 15.

Catcher GOLD said...
on Oct. 3 2014 at 1:22 pm
Catcher GOLD, Edinburg, Texas
14 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can't explain what I mean, and even if I could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it.

This was really fun to read. Very cute story that left me wanting to know what happens with Nate and Dani on their date. I found Dani's character relatable. She reminds me a lot of one of my best friends from when I was in middle school, which made the story even more enjoyable. (: I don't even feel the need to critique anything, because the only real comment I feel is necessary to make is to continue writing since practice will only make you better. Just out of curiosity did you have an age in mind for Dani or was it unmentioned because you didn't really know? Leaving out an age didn't affect the story, it just got me interested is all.

on Oct. 2 2014 at 9:58 pm
Vallichor SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone goes through hardships, we just have different stories.

Thank you so much! Your comment made my day. :)

on Oct. 2 2014 at 9:38 pm
Bethany_Saint GOLD, Dexter, Maine
14 articles 0 photos 90 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never regret something that once made you smile." - Amber Deckers

"Stories are more than just images. As you continue in the tale, you get to know the characters, motivations and conflicts that make up the core of the story...." - Livia Blackburne

Stumbled across this and love it! An awesome cute story that can make me smile... The part where she asked if he was dying and he replied "eventually" I really thought he was dying of cancer or something for a minute! Awesome job! Five stars and adding to favorites! Keep up the good writing!

on Oct. 2 2014 at 7:04 pm
Vallichor SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone goes through hardships, we just have different stories.

Thank you! Yeah, I kind of didn't know what to call him. I probably should have said non-female at some point, just because I feel like my character would say that. I did try to add more words to create a world for the readers to see, but I can see where it got to be too much. Thank you for the honest feedback! :)

on Oct. 2 2014 at 6:54 pm
Icithra PLATINUM, Arlington, Massachusetts
26 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
The wastebasket is a writer's best friend. ~Isaac Bashevis Singer

That was really funny! I loved how you managed to fit sarcasm into almost every line, and then the twist at the end when she thanks her mother (I'm a big fan of twists.) Great plot,too. My only critique is using the word boy too much, and occasionally adding extraneous adjectives that slow down an otherwise perfect flow. Good job!


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