Even If | Teen Ink

Even If

November 24, 2012
By shelbling_7 BRONZE, University Place, Washington
shelbling_7 BRONZE, University Place, Washington
2 articles 2 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Enjoy the beauty of life, of the things around you. Take time to see the good, not just the bad. Lose yourself in the sound of a guitar, fake play the piano, and scream your favorite songs at the top of your lungs. Just live a little."


His eyes. That's all I noticed, and all I cared to at the moment. I was falling... Hard and fast into his eyes. There was no way for me to stop. No way to come back. At least, not to the way I was. I could feel his warmth, he was that close. I breathed him in, savoring every single minute we shared together. I knew this wouldn't last long, but I could enjoy the time we had while we had it. He just stood there, looking at me. And before a single thought entered my mind, he moved closer and enveloped me into a hug. I melted, right there. I was so far gone, NASA wouldn't have even been able to bring me home. I put my arms around his waist and hung on for dear life, for fear of this moment ending sooner than it should. My ear was right on his chest, every heartbeat thumping right into my head. His body heat kept me warm even though we were standing outside in the freezing Fall weather. I didn't care where we were, or what time it was. All I cared about was him. His arms around me. His body so close to mine. That's all I could have ever asked for. Ever. I could feel his muscles flexing lightly on my back, where his arms were. I smiled, loving every second of this. The only thing that brought me back into reality- that could- was that this wasn't how it was for us. He was only hugging me as a friend, because I needed him. Not because he loved me and wanted me to know with a hug. This wasn't what I wanted, but it was all I could get. I wasn't going to be ungrateful when he never hugs me like this anyways. I just tried to forget about that minor detail and focus on him. I could feel his breath on my hair, his chest slightly moving against me from his breathing. I swear, for a split second I would have thought I was in heaven. It was marvelous. That's the only way to describe how amazing that moment was for me. I know he probably didn't feel what I was feeling at that moment, but at least it happened. At least... I decided to try to end it, since I knew it would soon. I didn't want to seem clingy, so I separated my arms from each other and tried to pull back from the hug, but instead of him letting go, he held me tighter. I didn't know what to do, so I just put my arms back around him and stayed like that for a while longer. Eventually though, he did let go. It was hard for me to separate from him and stand there as one, in the cold windy weather. But I managed to look at him again and smile. I thanked him for being there for me and he said no problem, anytime. We spent another hour together, that's all he could spare. We talked and kept each other warm, and then we parted ways. That was it. The scenario might not have played out the way I expected, but I was happy nonetheless. It was all I could have ever wished for at the time. I would never forget it. Never... And although we're just friends, I will always want him to be happy. Even if it's not with me... Even if we can never be together like I want. Even if he doesn't love me. Even if... I never see him again.


The author's comments:
This is a fantasy that I had. Well, more like how I wished the scenario had played out... He wasn't really there for me like I needed him, but if he had been, this is how I'd hoped it would have turned out... Oh well, at least he answered my calls. I hope you enjoy this! Please review it for me, tell me what you think!

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