Would You Rather...

September 29, 2009
By yelnatz BRONZE, Goodwood, Other
yelnatz BRONZE, Goodwood, Other
1 article 0 photos 14 comments

Would you rather have pink or blue nail polish? Would you rather be deaf or blind? Would you rather live as a vegetable or die as a hemophiliac? Would you rather wake up not knowing who you are or not wake up at all?
They, the doctors, want me to write. Anything, they said, even a scribble. I don’t remember how to write or to even hold a pencil. My fist clenches around it like a baby, like I had been reborn. These people, probably watching me from the video camera. Laughing. Like I was some sick joke. My face flushes, my eyes water stinging my cheeks, slipping down to drip on the paper. Leaving dark, shriveled, circles, in place of my words.
I cannot begin to describe how it feels when you don’t know yourself anymore. Waking up and recognizing nothing, from the colour of your hair or the dryness of you hands. Falling asleep one night after giving your mother a kiss not knowing the next time you see her you will scream in panic. As if it was all a recorded film that had been rewound, and the play button was stuck. Except for me, the play button wasn’t just stuck. It wasn’t there period.
This woman, my mother so I am told, places a photo next to bed the day after I wake up. After two months. The perfect family. In the background there is a man, smiling, his arm is around a girl. Looks like me. Something else is familiar. Is it his expression? The way his hand grips her shoulder instead of resting on it? Rage. I smash the picture to the floor. The glass shatters. I tear his face from the picture, the rest floats to the ground. The woman cries. The doctor nods. I wonder if I care.
They release me a few weeks later to the woman. She tells me we are going home. He’s gone. He can’t hurt you anymore. Legally I don’t need to go with her. But I do. She tells me about myself. My boyfriend, our pregnancy. I look down at myself wondering how a child had ever been there. Where was it now?
I kept the torn photo of him in my pocket. Obsessed. It took me a month but I found him. Daddy, I look at him wasted. Why did you do it? I remember what you did to me now. But I am not like you.
Would you rather wake up not knowing who you are or not wake up at all? It kills me to see him like this, slumped in his chair, snoring softly, absolutely unaware. A broken glass is on the floor. The red wine will stain the carpet. I will allow my blood to enter the blend. In time they will replace the carpet. Still the stain of his sin and mine shall remain. I look at my cracked reflection in the mirror. One shot. I look at him and pull the trigger. I would rather not wake up at all.


The author's comments:
This was written for a school assignment. A short story in 500 words or less. I think it's the kind of story you need to read twice to understand the true meaning of what happens at the end. It's one of my favorite pieces

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This article has 54 comments.


on Apr. 5 2013 at 11:08 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

I'm a little bit confused with the ending paragraph because the sentences are a bit jumpy from subject to subject to fact to fact, but I really do LOVE the idea! I tried writing about lost memory once, but it was very, very difficult, and I seriously respect you being able to do this!!

TraeBryant said...
on Oct. 22 2012 at 8:25 am
TraeBryant, Wilmington, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." -Michael Jordan

This was good writing. It was pretty cool. It was very emotional. You put this together very well

skysky2230 said...
on Oct. 2 2012 at 8:33 am
skysky2230, New Palestine, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments
This story is AMAZING!!! I loved it! I was kind of confused at first but then I understood. Great job! Keep up the good work! Hahaha!

.Dimples said...
on Sep. 10 2012 at 8:55 pm
.Dimples, Long Beach, California
0 articles 0 photos 15 comments
This is the type of story that you need to read twice to understand. Remember the character doesnt have good memory. I enjoyed this story c:

on Sep. 10 2012 at 4:56 pm
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"it's impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default."
-J.K.Rowling

WOW that was seriously amazing!!!! this is beautifully written and it is deffinetly one of my favourites!!! I love every single word! Please comment on some of my work because your an awesome writer and I could use the tips! Thanks! But this peice is fantastic!

on Jul. 28 2012 at 9:09 am
MissInkslinger BRONZE, Lexington, Kentucky
4 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love argument, I love debate. I don't expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that's not their job. Margaret Thatcher

I have the same questions. It's really good and I want to understand more.

on Jul. 6 2012 at 12:17 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments
This is really, really good. You have a very appealing style of writing. I'm just a little confused about the characters. Did her dad abuse her so much as to where she ended up losing her memory? What about her boyfriend and her baby? Where does that come in? Otherwise, very great story. Keep writing!

on Jun. 14 2012 at 10:28 pm
Pika_Princess, Escondido, California
0 articles 0 photos 118 comments
beautifully written; the ending was purely amazing; i really like your writing style!

on Jun. 14 2012 at 7:48 pm
AndSoItGoes01 GOLD, Reno, Nevada
10 articles 0 photos 149 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The winter I told you icicles are magic, you stole an enormous icicle from my neighbors shingle, and gave it to me as a gift, I kept it in my freezer for seven months. Love isn't always magic, sometimes it's melting." -Andrea Gibson

Great job! It did keep me thinking and it's one of my favorites so far out of all the teen ink stuff i've read! :) Please write more?

on Apr. 9 2012 at 9:40 am
selenafan1 BRONZE, Freeport, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel it's warmth"
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it is better to be absolutley ridiculous than absolutley boring"-Marilyn Monroe

Wow very good it kept me sucked in the whole time cheers to you!

on Dec. 21 2011 at 11:21 pm
SweetTart BRONZE, Monclova, Ohio
4 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
~Robert Frost

Whoah, this is intense. Youre awesome:)

on Nov. 29 2011 at 6:50 pm
BeczLuvzYew BRONZE, Sandy, Utah
4 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live life like there is no tomorrow, with endless laughs, and love as deep as the ocean

it was in a word amazing. it was deep and emotional. the part about breaking the frame and ripping the picture was so intense.

on Nov. 29 2011 at 2:10 pm
PeachyKeen2 BRONZE, Greensboro, North Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments
This is amazing! So good. So so good.

on Nov. 25 2011 at 2:02 pm
AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
13 articles 0 photos 132 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Evil is when the good do nothing"

Oh wow! I loved this peice! I love your use of rehtorical questions. It's really deep and very moving. I think it's a very good story, almost a poem really. It's amazing!

on Nov. 7 2011 at 4:11 pm
LifesIllusion BRONZE, Cicero, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't let your fears slow you down. Instead, chase them down and beat them."

This story was so intense! I loved it

 


on Sep. 24 2011 at 7:36 pm
blueandorange GOLD, Jeffersonville, Indiana
14 articles 0 photos 63 comments
Very good.

writer015 GOLD said...
on Jul. 12 2011 at 4:08 pm
writer015 GOLD, Howard, Ohio
11 articles 13 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. " --Marianne Williamson

That was crazy intense, it makes me sad. But I think that was the point. Great writing!

on Jun. 6 2011 at 3:43 pm
Leena7395 SILVER, Spring Grove, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be who you are because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

This was intense...it was great!

on Jun. 6 2011 at 1:55 pm
krarthurs SILVER, Plymouth, Massachusetts
9 articles 3 photos 87 comments

Favorite Quote:
All generous minds have a horror of what are commonly called "Facts". They are the brute beasts of the intellectual domain.
-Thomas Hobbes

Wow. This was so dark. I absolutely loved it

on Jan. 25 2011 at 5:29 pm
notaquantumphysicist, Overland Park, Kansas
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Wow! This was really good! You're right, I did have to read it twice! It's amazing!

Keep writing!



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