New Moon (Sequal to Twilight) In About 5 Minutes

May 30, 2010
*Dramatic piano Music*
(Edward and Bella stand outside of Bella's house by the truck)
Bella: It's my birthday
Bella: Kiss me.
Edward *Scared look* uhh... Okay?
*They kiss*

(At the Cullen Mansion thingie. Everyone is in a circle)

Alice: It's time! It's Time! Bella, open your presents.
Bella: But I don't like-
Alice *Devilish look* OPEN THEM!!!
Bella: Okay, Okay! Sheesh.
*Bella opens package and gets a papercut. Blood squirts out everywhere*
Bella: Ahhh!! Call a doctor!!
Jasper: *Looks at bella and licks lips* tasty.....
Edward: NOOO!!! *Pushed bella into piano*
Bella: OW!
Edawrd: Sorry......*Hits Jasper* I was trying to protect you.......
Bella: You didn't do a good enough job. *Walks away.
Emmett: Remind me why you like her?
Edward: *sighs* I don't know anymore...Let's leave her.

(Edward and Bella are outside in woods)

Edward: Bella I'm leaving.
Bella: But Edwrad-
Edward: *hides behind a tree*
bella: *Hyperventalates*
*Jacob comes out of nowhere*
Bella: Jacob! I love you now that Edward's not here!
Jacob: *Shrugs* I'll take it!

(*Later on*)

Bella: Let's build a bike!
Jacob: When did you like Bikes?
Bella: Shut up and build us some bikes that we can ride romantically into the sunset with....*Smiles and looks lovingly away*

Jacob: Hop on Bells!
bella: *Smiles brightly* OKAY Jackee! *Hops on and rides off a cliff into the sunset*
(End Daydream)

Bella: *Shakes herself out of daydream*
Bella: Let us ride into the sunset!
Jacob: Where have you been all month.....?
Bella: *Hops on back of the bikes* Let's go Jake! I wanna feel the adrenaline rush!
Jacob: *Gulps* Kay then....
Bella: *Sees figure of Edward* EDDY!
Edward: I'm not real! Leave me alone!
Bella: *Crashes into a rock* Kay then *Sniffle*

(Bella and Jacob at Bella's house)

Alice: Ding-DONG! I'm at the door! *Knocks on door and then breaks it down*
*BElla and Jacob stare with eyes wide open*
Bella: Alice!!*Hugs her*
Alice: Bella! *Sniff-Sniff* You smell great....
Bella: I'll go away now....
Alice: NO! Edward thinks you're dead. He's Gunna go commit suicide!
Bella: Can vampires do that?
Alice: Only the sparkly, magical, soft,non-sharp-toothed Cullens can! *Beams with pride*
Jacob: Bella don't go!
Bella: No, Jake. Now that Edwrad's back, I love him. You will just have to wait your turn.
Jacob: But I'm a werewolf!
Bella: *Eyes widden* When did that happen?!?
Jacob: A While ago. We just didn't mention it cause it was so obvious. Did you see any of the New Moon trailers? That ruined everything!
Bella: True. I still gotta go.
Jake: *Whimpers*

(Outside in Rome)

Alice: GO BELLA!
Bella: OKAY! *Trips over fountian* Ouch!!!
Edward: *Walks into sun*
Bella: EDWARD NO!!!
Edward: *Looks at Bella* GOD! Can't this chick leave me alone?
Bella: *Hugs Edward* RUNNN!!!!
Edward:*Sigh* You won't let me be, will you?
Bella. No. I'm persistant *Insane laugh*
Edward *Sarcastic laugh* yes you are....*Sigh* Let's go home.

(On a plane home)

Bella: Okay. Edward- um...I've been meaning to ask you something. ..
Edward: *Sigh* What is it, Bella.
Bella: Will you marry me?
Edward: *Scoffs* NO!
Bella:*Grab's Edwards Earlobe* Do it or I'll seduce you....
Edward: Okay okay!!!!!
Bella: *Smiles* YEA!!!!!

Join the Discussion

This article has 46 comments. Post your own now!

ThatClarinetPerson said...
Sept. 30, 2010 at 7:15 pm
"do it or i'll seduce you!" lol. love it!
CallMeFelix said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Good job =) stalkerish bella is kinda funny
fallingdusk said...
Aug. 26, 2010 at 6:22 pm
told u i'd read/rate it! this piece is really good. I think its really funny!!!
WhimsicalKestrel said...
Aug. 26, 2010 at 9:40 am
Authorgal98 said...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 8:28 pm
Haha so true! hehe i love making parodies of twilight, i worte one for camp
Kristen_M said...
Jul. 7, 2010 at 5:01 pm
OMG!! That was really funny!! This is becoming my favorite!! Awesome job!
fireflynight said...
Jun. 26, 2010 at 12:26 pm
WOW. And I loved how stalkerish Bella is! FUNNY.
Me_Myself_and_Time said...
Jun. 14, 2010 at 1:41 pm
OMG That was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!! i absolutely positively and all those other "lys" loved it!!!!
AprilBlue said...
Jun. 13, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Lol nice :)
Acumichi23 said...
Jun. 13, 2010 at 6:53 pm
So funny!!! I love it and i wish the movie was this way.
celloizmylife said...
Jun. 13, 2010 at 10:32 am
Ha, I loved it. There's this new book called Nightlight that's a parody of Twilight, but it's too long for me to read it until I'm really bored. This was great in that I could have a few laughs and it was short enough. Short and sweet right? Awesome!
dancer13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 13, 2010 at 12:18 pm
nightlight was hilarious until the end. then it kind of chickened out. worth a read though, i'd say. :)
Fallen_Freak replied...
Jun. 29, 2010 at 8:41 pm
I KNOW! it looks like such a good Parody book. but I can't belive Stephanie Meyer let someone PARODIZE her book! XD Still funny though.
dancer13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 5, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Yeah, I wonder how that'd work...
FlyWithMe_899 said...
Jun. 12, 2010 at 10:46 pm
hehehe i loved it!!!!!
Yvaine_96 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 12, 2010 at 10:34 pm
love dis way more dan da new moon movie! god u r funny! u hav got a serious talent, trust me!
Inherinerd said...
Jun. 12, 2010 at 5:58 pm

Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it and its pretty much exactly what happens!!!

if somebody could take a look at my work it would be greatly appreciated!

SmileAndTheWorldWillSmileBack said...
Jun. 12, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Awesome and so true! Made me laugh out loud! More please!
Drama_Queen13 said...
Jun. 12, 2010 at 7:51 am
Freacking HILARIOUS!!!! great job
KiraS. said...
Jun. 11, 2010 at 7:48 pm
O MY GOSH! SOO FREAKIN FUNNY AND TRUE! I LOVE THIS! please check out my work too!
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