5th Twilight:Glistening Sin (Renesmee's Story) chapter 1

October 25, 2009
Chapter 1


A blur of memories sweeped through my mind as clear as crystal, like I was there at this very moment. Daddy's glistening grin when I went on my first hunt, mommy's first time she layed her chocolate human eyes on me. I could taste her smell on my tongue. It lingered so long I already felt like I was indulging her. I could feel her heart beat. She stared at me contently oblivious to what I was feeling. I needed this person, but why did I want her for that other reason too?
I could feel a want for something else. But why? I wanted nothing more than her to be with me and I had it. But it was that burn in my throat was like a fire like a blue flame, the hottest of them all that drew me in closer to her irresistible scent. I could not resist, I latched onto her neck and heard a faint cry, I had hurt her. My one, my only. I  snapped back feeling horrendous of my behavior. I then felt something cool grasping me away, as cool as ice. My father, my other only. He did not look happy with me either. This dream had turned into a slow, but sudden nightmare. Nightmare, the word sent a spark up my whole body.            

That word only belonged to the person who frightened me the most. No not person but people. The volturi. The cruel twisted people who believe they are some type of heroes. But to be a hero you have to listen. They only gave a minute for my family to explain who I was. I could feel my teeth clench together with the force of a great white shark. Aro, with his jet black shoulder length hair. Caius, with his concrete grimace indented into his porcelain skin. Jane with her tormenting gift of pain. It was my family that they were going to calmly kill. It was my Jacob and his pack. Emmett, Jasper, Rose, Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Mommy and Daddy. They wanted to slaughter them and it was all because of me.

I wish I could have been born with the gift of destroying. Destroying everything in my path as if it all were toothpicks. Just toothpicks. Aro, Caius, and Jane, utensils that you pick your teeth with. I could get used to that. But I'm not I am only a half dead person that touches people to tell them what I did for the day. Couldn't I just talk to them?

So, I call myself the glistening sin that plopped into a family of perfect proportion. They are one species, one mind set. I am two species, predator and prey jammed in one body. Yet everyone calls me a miracle. I just think I am an addicting burden no one seems to be able to let go of.  In my year of living, I have already put every one I love in danger. No not danger, into a death sentence. Wait, I guess I am a miracle, in making world records.

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This article has 33 comments. Post your own now!

andream12 said...
Nov. 3, 2012 at 7:47 pm
Ugh.. First, she was just born an did NOT know who the Volturi were. Second, she bit the TOP OF HER BREAST, not her neck. Third, she calls him Jakey or my Jakey. READ THE BOOK PEOPLE!  
Sofia_Gonz07This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 30, 2016 at 8:47 pm
Don't be rude, she writes really good.
M-star said...
Jan. 7, 2012 at 10:29 pm
This is amazing! It truly is! I love the title by the way- Glistening Sin! It sounds perfect! I can't wait to read the rest.
Rebekah_Cruz said...
Dec. 28, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Dude... This is uber-ly deep and poetic. I LOVE IT!!!
writerfreak21231This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 6, 2011 at 10:29 am
this is truely a great story. Though i do agree with others length ur chapters more. U were beautiful with the amount of decription and the emtion in this chapter and i cant wait to read the next chapter of this story. And i definitely think that u deserve 5 stars and the top voted. Very well done and keep writing! :)(:
wasauskyx said...
May 6, 2011 at 11:48 am
Amazing LOve it :))
JelloAngel92 said...
Mar. 17, 2011 at 6:10 pm
I think this is a very clever idea.
Robsessed said...
Jun. 27, 2010 at 4:18 pm
First, it's spelled Renesme. Second, she didn't really bite Bella's neck, but the top of her breast. Other than that, it's pretty good.
kielymarie replied...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 5:26 pm
It's actually Renesmee- check the book.
kkharris replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 3:51 pm
yea she's right in the book its pronounced renesmee and if you havent noticed this is fan fiction therefore people have their own version of a continuation to breaking dawn so dont critique when your the one thats wrong.
Robsessed replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 6:51 pm
My bad. I realized my mistake after I started reading Breaking Dawn, again, after I saw Eclipse in theaters. I was thinking it ended the same way as Esme and I saw someone else spell it without the second "e" in the comments below. My apologies.
Robsessed replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 6:57 pm

kkharris - I know how Renesmee is prounounced, I NEVER critiqued that. It was the spelling I was critiquing and I wasn't doing it to be rude. I was under the impression (the wrong one, I now know) that I was being helpful.

P.S. I don't need you to tell me that this is the Fan Fiction section.

CelebrateKrismas replied...
Nov. 16, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Good going, girl. Dont let people tell you off.
dkA.M replied...
Dec. 7, 2010 at 8:22 pm

HAHA thank you guys for having my back. It is very kind ;)

Robsessed, if you read breaking dawn, you will read that renesmee does in fact bite her neck, I mean come on!! Ahaha that it what all of the vampire stories are about. "the girl's neck smelled sweet and irresistible" I gurantee you there was never a story of vampire's that read "Her upper breast smelt sweet and irresistible"

AHAHA that was not meant to offend you :D lol it was meant to hopefully make you and others laugh... (more »)

CelebrateKrismas replied...
Dec. 8, 2010 at 12:24 am
Please comment on my other works too! Thanks so much! :)
Robsessed replied...
Dec. 8, 2010 at 2:15 pm

dkA.M - I just want to make it clear that I wasn't offended by anything you wrote. I liked what you wrote. In my original comment, the suggestions I made were meant to be helpful. I realized later that I was wrong about the spelling of Renesmee, which I corrected in my second comment.

As to the other part of my orignal comment about the bite, I did go back and look at BD and on pg. 353 it says,

"And then she gasped--gasped in pain.

By the time I looked, it was too late. E... (more »)

nikki<3 said...
Jun. 14, 2010 at 9:55 pm
i really like this chapter although i think it could have been longer anyways seeing how u did here i think u could hav done better in chap. 2
JessieBecker said...
Jun. 14, 2010 at 5:12 pm
I love this chapter, but you lost your style in chapter two. The way you describes Renesme was beautiful though. (:
mary_blue356 said...
May 13, 2010 at 9:31 am
You write like  a professional/best-selling author. You're a wonderful writer. I'm going to read more!
AfroSamurai said...
May 1, 2010 at 3:43 am
As an avid reader of FanFiction, occasionally in the Twilight category, I have to say you have a LOT of potential and talent here. I WOULD like to point out that if you aspire to become better in FanFiction, I'd lengthen the chapters some, if possible, because this is seeming more like a One-Shot than an actual FanFic. Other than that, I love it. You're very decriptive with her POV, and I love the way you played it off. Many have tried something similar, but I've NEVER seen someone accomplish it... (more »)
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