5th Twilight:Glistening Sin (Renesmee's Story) chapter 1

October 25, 2009
By dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
8 articles 0 photos 87 comments

Chapter 1






Nightmare

A blur of memories sweeped through my mind as clear as crystal, like I was there at this very moment. Daddy's glistening grin when I went on my first hunt, mommy's first time she layed her chocolate human eyes on me. I could taste her smell on my tongue. It lingered so long I already felt like I was indulging her. I could feel her heart beat. She stared at me contently oblivious to what I was feeling. I needed this person, but why did I want her for that other reason too?
    
I could feel a want for something else. But why? I wanted nothing more than her to be with me and I had it. But it was that burn in my throat was like a fire like a blue flame, the hottest of them all that drew me in closer to her irresistible scent. I could not resist, I latched onto her neck and heard a faint cry, I had hurt her. My one, my only. I  snapped back feeling horrendous of my behavior. I then felt something cool grasping me away, as cool as ice. My father, my other only. He did not look happy with me either. This dream had turned into a slow, but sudden nightmare. Nightmare, the word sent a spark up my whole body.            




That word only belonged to the person who frightened me the most. No not person but people. The volturi. The cruel twisted people who believe they are some type of heroes. But to be a hero you have to listen. They only gave a minute for my family to explain who I was. I could feel my teeth clench together with the force of a great white shark. Aro, with his jet black shoulder length hair. Caius, with his concrete grimace indented into his porcelain skin. Jane with her tormenting gift of pain. It was my family that they were going to calmly kill. It was my Jacob and his pack. Emmett, Jasper, Rose, Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Mommy and Daddy. They wanted to slaughter them and it was all because of me.



I wish I could have been born with the gift of destroying. Destroying everything in my path as if it all were toothpicks. Just toothpicks. Aro, Caius, and Jane, utensils that you pick your teeth with. I could get used to that. But I'm not I am only a half dead person that touches people to tell them what I did for the day. Couldn't I just talk to them?


So, I call myself the glistening sin that plopped into a family of perfect proportion. They are one species, one mind set. I am two species, predator and prey jammed in one body. Yet everyone calls me a miracle. I just think I am an addicting burden no one seems to be able to let go of.  In my year of living, I have already put every one I love in danger. No not danger, into a death sentence. Wait, I guess I am a miracle, in making world records.


The author's comments:
twilight, new moon, eclipse, breaking dawn

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This article has 33 comments.


on Nov. 30 2016 at 8:47 pm
Sofia_Gonz07 GOLD, San Marcos, CA, California
12 articles 0 photos 28 comments
Don't be rude, she writes really good.

on Nov. 3 2012 at 7:47 pm
andream12 SILVER, Marion, Ohio
9 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't have time to worry about something as petty as what I look like" - Adele Adkins

Ugh.. First, she was just born an did NOT know who the Volturi were. Second, she bit the TOP OF HER BREAST, not her neck. Third, she calls him Jakey or my Jakey. READ THE BOOK PEOPLE!  

M-star BRONZE said...
on Jan. 7 2012 at 10:29 pm
M-star BRONZE, Kalamazoo, Michigan
4 articles 3 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you."- Richard Brinsley Sheridan

This is amazing! It truly is! I love the title by the way- Glistening Sin! It sounds perfect! I can't wait to read the rest.

on Jan. 6 2012 at 9:15 pm
quantum.strings53 SILVER, Maryville, Tennessee
5 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
“We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.”

I agree with this. The saga's titles are all related to the moon. Nice try on the writing though.

on Dec. 28 2011 at 2:03 pm
Rebekah_Cruz BRONZE, Clarksville, Tennessee
1 article 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm not a smart-alec... I just know more than you."
"You can tell a lot about a person by the way tey eat their jelly beans."

Dude... This is uber-ly deep and poetic. I LOVE IT!!!

on Aug. 6 2011 at 10:29 am
Free_One PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 773 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am not invincible or unstoppable, but I stay strong because it is the only way to survive in this world."

this is truely a great story. Though i do agree with others length ur chapters more. U were beautiful with the amount of decription and the emtion in this chapter and i cant wait to read the next chapter of this story. And i definitely think that u deserve 5 stars and the top voted. Very well done and keep writing! :)(:

on May. 6 2011 at 11:48 am
wasauskyx BRONZE, New Haven, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am not afraid to speak my mind. I am honest, but when I do speak my mind, I get ignored.
~me!

Amazing LOve it :))

on Mar. 17 2011 at 6:10 pm
JelloAngel92 PLATINUM, Dundalk, Other
27 articles 18 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
You've got to have ink in the pen!

I think this is a very clever idea.

on Dec. 8 2010 at 2:15 pm
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
36 articles 14 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

"Did you know 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up.'" - Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn

dkA.M - I just want to make it clear that I wasn't offended by anything you wrote. I liked what you wrote. In my original comment, the suggestions I made were meant to be helpful. I realized later that I was wrong about the spelling of Renesmee, which I corrected in my second comment.

As to the other part of my orignal comment about the bite, I did go back and look at BD and on pg. 353 it says,

"And then she gasped--gasped in pain.

By the time I looked, it was too late. Edward had snatched the warm, bloody thing out of her limp arms. My eyes flickered across her skin. It was red with blood--the blood that had flowed from her mouth, the blood smeared all over the creature, and fresh blood welling out of a tiny double-crescent bite mark just over her left breast."

and then on pg. 372 it says,

"She leaned her head down, against my chest, burrowing against the warmth. Her skin was warm and silky, but it didn't give the way mine did.

Then there was pain again--just one warm slash of it. I gasped."

That is the bite I was referring to.

 


on Dec. 8 2010 at 12:24 am
TeardropsInApril GOLD, Hillsborough, California
14 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"live, love, laugh!"

Please comment on my other works too! Thanks so much! :)

dkA.M SILVER said...
on Dec. 7 2010 at 8:22 pm
dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
8 articles 0 photos 87 comments

HAHA thank you guys for having my back. It is very kind ;)

Robsessed, if you read breaking dawn, you will read that renesmee does in fact bite her neck, I mean come on!! Ahaha that it what all of the vampire stories are about. "the girl's neck smelled sweet and irresistible" I gurantee you there was never a story of vampire's that read "Her upper breast smelt sweet and irresistible"

AHAHA that was not meant to offend you :D lol it was meant to hopefully make you and others laugh... but thank you for reading and I hope you venture far into you writing career

~`peace`~


on Nov. 16 2010 at 1:51 pm
TeardropsInApril GOLD, Hillsborough, California
14 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"live, love, laugh!"

Good going, girl. Dont let people tell you off.

on Jul. 29 2010 at 6:57 pm
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
36 articles 14 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

"Did you know 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up.'" - Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn

kkharris - I know how Renesmee is prounounced, I NEVER critiqued that. It was the spelling I was critiquing and I wasn't doing it to be rude. I was under the impression (the wrong one, I now know) that I was being helpful.

P.S. I don't need you to tell me that this is the Fan Fiction section.


on Jul. 29 2010 at 6:51 pm
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
36 articles 14 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

"Did you know 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up.'" - Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn

My bad. I realized my mistake after I started reading Breaking Dawn, again, after I saw Eclipse in theaters. I was thinking it ended the same way as Esme and I saw someone else spell it without the second "e" in the comments below. My apologies.

kkharris said...
on Jul. 29 2010 at 3:51 pm
yea she's right in the book its pronounced renesmee and if you havent noticed this is fan fiction therefore people have their own version of a continuation to breaking dawn so dont critique when your the one thats wrong.

on Jul. 21 2010 at 5:26 pm
kielymarie SILVER, Sandy Hook, Connecticut
6 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you do dance, I wish you a wave 'o the sea, that you might never do nothing but that." -William Shakespeare

It's actually Renesmee- check the book.

on Jun. 27 2010 at 4:18 pm
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
36 articles 14 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

"Did you know 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up.'" - Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn

First, it's spelled Renesme. Second, she didn't really bite Bella's neck, but the top of her breast. Other than that, it's pretty good.

nikki<3 said...
on Jun. 14 2010 at 9:55 pm
i really like this chapter although i think it could have been longer anyways seeing how u did here i think u could hav done better in chap. 2

JessieB SILVER said...
on Jun. 14 2010 at 5:12 pm
JessieB SILVER, Elkton, Maryland
7 articles 1 photo 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
an eye for an eye, and the whole world goes blind~Ghandi

I love this chapter, but you lost your style in chapter two. The way you describes Renesme was beautiful though. (:

dkA.M SILVER said...
on Jun. 2 2010 at 2:52 pm
dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
8 articles 0 photos 87 comments
This is the one of the absolute best comments I have ever gotten. You are great at constructive criticism! Thank you for not tearing me and my writing apart :D


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