September 26, 2009
[Note: Between every line, the camera cuts to a different person. Two people are not in the same shot at the same time unless otherwise specified. These shots alternate between WS, MS, and MCU, at the director's digression.]

RYAN: (steps up to frame)Ryan here, star of Action-Tastic 3: Revenge of the baby puncher; I'd like to assure you that no babies were harmed in the making of this film.

NATE: (Brandishing a baby doll) See? It's fake.

ELLY: Punching real babies is a crime.

LAURA: So we at Really Cheesy Productions would like to remind you:

ALL IN UNISON: Never ever punch a baby.

RYAN: Not even a gay baby!

LAURA: Especially not a gay baby!

ELLY: Gay babies are our future.

NATE: They have an evil plot to overthrow us all!

LAURA: That's not actually true.

RYAN: When you feel like directing your anger at a baby, take a deep breath and direct it at cute little animals instead.

NATE: Like this cat! (Nate is holding a cat)

[Cat is flung violently over LAURA and ELLY's horrified heads.]

ELLY: Um, no cats were harmed in the making of this feature?

LAURA:...yeah. It's gonna be okay, right?

[Technical Difficulty bars flash onto screen.]

Join the Discussion

This article has 66 comments. Post your own now!

jordynnangeleen said...
Sept. 2, 2016 at 11:29 am
make more!!
sabbylynnThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 20, 2016 at 12:38 pm
all of the stuff you write is soo funny i love it so much
HiChanel said...
Oct. 26, 2012 at 7:09 pm
Great Job! Hilarious. :D
GummyBearQueen2 said...
Aug. 26, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Hehe, so fuuuuuuunny! This needs to be made in to a Youtube film. My friends and I love doing these sort of things. We've done a rip-off of the Roommate, and once we even did a completely unrelated film for our language project, in which we had my friend dancing around singing. We got detention, but the class went mad. Totally worth it!
Aduke9 said...
Jun. 8, 2012 at 5:51 pm
Hilarious XD
StephanieMorrissa said...
Apr. 26, 2012 at 8:43 am
You are really funny.. Add some more stuff as soon as you can.. Can't wait to read more of your work! :)
Scribbler-of-Dreams This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 24, 2012 at 7:22 am
So funny...I realy like ur work.
Sammy817 said...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 3:09 pm
I love this piece. its really good
Paradise_Lost said...
Nov. 9, 2011 at 1:10 pm
And you, of course, one amazing writer. I'll be waiting for your first movie to come out.
Pumpkinscout said...
Oct. 29, 2011 at 7:33 am
This is funny! Keep up the awesome work!
DamonSalvatore1864 said...
Oct. 20, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Ha! Great job...can't wait to see the next thing you come up with!! <3
angelchild said...
Sept. 18, 2011 at 7:34 pm
this was hilarious!! I think that this would be better directed by teens and a cheap camera for effect.
forever_writing said...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 8:31 pm
It's funny and stupid it reminds me of family guy. Keep on writing!!
Niharika said...
Jun. 3, 2011 at 11:38 am
snow cone said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 9:43 am
haha this is really mean but funny..... i love it ..... this could be on MAD t.v.
Fangstorm_The_Vampire said...
May 21, 2011 at 10:41 am
totally random, if a bit cruel. lol
Book_addict said...
May 13, 2011 at 9:24 am
Totally random and totally awesome  = )
RockGirl182 replied...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 11:19 am
agree 100 % :)
KerwinJames said...
May 13, 2011 at 9:16 am
I love your sick sense of humor!  It's awesome!!
Dia.dreamer replied...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 10:05 am


You read my mind!

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