Getting Out

November 17, 2011
By iswim94 BRONZE, Mankato, Minnesota
iswim94 BRONZE, Mankato, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

As the Ferris wheel went Clank, Clank, Clank; John sat patiently waiting for the ride to end; seeing his girlfriend Olivia at the bottom. They were heading out immediately after, for a romantic evening at the White-Smith Hotel; but first he wanted to go the Ferris wheel, however Olivia had a fear of heights and didn’t want to go on it; she was waiting at the bottom and was quite excited for their evening ahead. The Ferris wheel came to a stopping jerk, but wasn’t completely to the bottom quite yet. Yelling up to the John, “I’m going to the bathroom meet me over there when the ride is over” Olivia.

“Can’t you just wait a little longer; I’m almost at the bottom,” John.

“No, I really have to go, and you’re almost done and can just walk over there; and by the time you get there I’ll be done, and we can just leave from over there.” Olivia.

“Okay, be there soon, love you.” John

“I love you too.” Olivia. Hurrying over to the bathroom, hearing a clank, then a loud Bang! Thinking it was just boat coming in to the pier, she kept going towards the bathroom; but in reality it was the Ferris wheel stopping but not completely touching the ground, so John couldn’t get off and the large gates out front were slamming shut; for the park had just closed with them still inside.

Exiting the bathroom Olivia didn’t see John anywhere, hoping that he went and got the car; she started to walk over towards the parking lot, but first she heard a high-pitched sound coming from the Ferris wheel but thought nothing of it and keep heading; towards the car but seeing that it was still sitting in its spot. Olivia started walking back towards the bathroom, hoping that John was in the bathroom himself. Hearing a loud scream again; she decided to walk towards the noise; seeing John stuck in his seat, the Ferris wheel at full tilt, she attempted to scream at him that she was on the way to help him, but with a loud pitching sound in the background, she couldn’t be heard. Getting closer to the Ferris wheel, she saw John struggling to get down but something kept catching his leg. Hoping that it was just the lap belt and nothing more, she kept walking towards him; not knowing something bizarre was about to accrue. As she began to get closer the Ferris wheel turned itself on and began to spin slowly, the pitching sound had gone away but the wheel began to spin faster and faster. John still hooked in by his leg began to whirl around with it; as the speed increased as did John’s whirling. Olivia scared out of her mind what to do; she walked towards the mechanism board, but the wheel became to go faster; still she had to find some way to stop it and get John off of it……

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This article has 1 comment.

on Jan. 9 2012 at 6:08 pm
SarasotaWonder BRONZE, Cumberland, Maine
1 article 0 photos 61 comments
I think you have a really good plot-line here, and I am interested as to what happens next. The one thing I would work on is adding more detail, imagary, and voice. Other than that, great beginning!


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