How, Who, and Why
One day, when Josh and I were fooling around like usual he went to pick me up. A task he had completed so many times in the past with ease. As I went to climb onto his shoulders he sunk to the floor and grunted in pain. Burying his face into the ground and digging his hand into his back it was unclear to me whether or not he was joking. I sat down on the floor next to him too much in shock to do anything, waiting for him to look at me and tell me he was fine. After a long moment of silence he looked up at me. He tried to convince me that he was just playing a joke and made me promise not to tell Mom. “You are still gullible as always munchkin,” he uttered with a wince. I could tell by the way that he slowly inched his way up from the ground and wobbled off that he was far from okay. The next occurrence with the new Joshua that followed was even more terrifying then the previous one. Laying on the couch eating out of a bag of chips there was not a thought in my mind that made me think I was doing anything slightly wrong; my brother thought otherwise. He entered the room and immediately told me to stop eating out of the bag and that it was rude to everyone else. I told him that he was very funny and that he could keep dreaming. At that very moment when I uttered those words, something changed in his eyes. They seemed to turn a fiery red and just like that I was hanging from my brothers hands around my neck and screaming. He was slamming me against the wall, yelling all these baffling comments that made no sense. “You think your that much better then me, huh? You think you can throw me around like some piece of f*ing trash. I am not insane! You are the one that…..” “Joshua Aaron snap out of it and drop your sister this minute.” Dad ordered. “I am not listening to your bullshit anymore….” He continued slamming me into the wall with each word. “Remmell I am not kidding. What the hell has gotten into you?” At this point Josh had loosened his grip enough so that Dad was able to pry me from that his life taking grasp. As soon as Josh released his hands from my neck he fled the room. My Daddy held me in his arms cradling me like I was three years old again. Telling me it was all over and Josh hadn’t just gotten a little mad. He told me it wasn’t my fault and that Josh was going through a rough time but he still loved me. When I was finally able to form words and stand without falling, I zipped off to my room. I spent the whole night hysterical in my room. I was so frightened to the point that I locked my door and did not get one bit of sleep. Instead I spent the whole night staring at the door fearing that the now petrifying man that use to be my brother was going to batter down my door to get at me and finish what he had started earlier. It took a lot of time and ice cream for me to figure him. At first I couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with him. I pretended as if he wasn’t even a person. It wasn’t until my Dad told me that I had to hear him out that I even let Joshua talk to me. I agreed that I would listen but only if my dad was by my side the whole time. With Dad holding my hand I listened to Josh’s proposition. He wanted to take me to the movies. He promised he wouldn’t talk unless I started the conversation. He just wanted to spend time with me so that I could see he was trying to mend the wound. Being a great lover of the cinema I agreed to the hopefully fun events that might take place. We did not say one word to each other the whole ride. We grabbed seats all the in the back of the theatre just like old times. The lights began to dim and so it began. Watching a movie is a great way to get your mind of things. As I started to laugh at the actions taking place on the screen, I heard that familiar chuckle that I had missed for so many nights. I looked over at my brother and he met my gaze. With that one look I knew that I was staring at my brother. Not the intense man in the living room that had almost suffocated me, but the brother I would play monopoly with till 3:00 in the morning. It was then that he leaned over and kissed me on the forehead instilling in me the only way he knew how to say sorry. That had been all I was waiting for and now that I had received it, all could be forgiven.