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Even Though

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Author's note: As a 16-year-old journalist living in suburban Chicago, I’ve always sought to reach a wide...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: As a 16-year-old journalist living in suburban Chicago, I’ve always sought to reach a wide audience with my writing. I serve as co-executive entertainment editor for Buffalo Grove High School’s, “The Charger.” In addition, I have my own video blog on YouTube, which addresses myriad teenage topics, such as relationships, fashion trends and high school survival. I also write for the fashion section of the online publication “EmbraceYou” and I'm also interning at the Daily Herald. I’d love to be a part of your magazine as well.  « Hide author's note
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Bad Timing

When we got to the cemetery I felt strange. The feeling is hard to describe, but Lindsey Lohan said it best in “Mean Girls.”

“Have you ever walked up to people and realized they were just talking about you?”
That’s what it felt like when I saw my father’s side of the family. They were examining me as if trying to compare notes and see who was right about the way I was brought up. I don’t like being around my father’s family too much. I can never act like myself; I am always expected to behave the way someone who just graduated from finishing school would act.

After mingling with some old relatives it was time to go to the grave. I sat there silently crying, while my uncle talked about my dad. I wasn’t crying because I wanted to or because it made me feel better. No, I was crying because it was expected of me. With tears rolling over the cheeks I inherited from him, I watched in horror at how carelessly the workers lowered his casket. To them he was just another body in a blue box, but to me it was like they were burying half of my soul. I wanted to run, scream, kick, and act like a complete child. But, I didn’t. I stood there quietly the way a young lady should.

I know my mother worries when she sees me cry, which is why when she asked me that horrible question I answered, “I’m OK. Can we go shoe shopping?”
“I’m sure you have all heard of the tragedy that has happened,” my journalism teacher said in a solemn voice.

A beloved student has died and now the school paper has to do an In-depth on him. I thanked my lucky stars that I was not the one who will have to write it. After listening to various stories of the student I was unable to sleep. I just lay in bed that night and starred at the ceiling. I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, I just kept staring till my alarm rang.

“You then add three to both sides and set it equal to zero.”
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This book has 20 comments. Post your own!

sweetangel4lifeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:53 am:
i really loves this. well written of course and im sorry for the pain you felt over the loss. stay strong and keep writing :)
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JessixMathers said...
Mar. 8, 2012 at 5:36 pm:
You are a great writer!!! I loved this memoir! Although I havent lost anyone recently I'm so glad that I read this story, had me hooked from beginning to end! :)
Danealle replied...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 10:18 pm :
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!
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renthead96 said...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 10:47 am:
I really felt for you while I read this, and I have to say I can relate well to it. My aunt died of cancer only months ago, and I wish I had found this earlier, to help me deal with it. I find it interesting how everyone reacts differently and copes differently to loss. For me, it really didn't hit me until I was at the funeral, and then I lost it. I'm glad I found this story. Keep writing!
Danealle replied...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 11:24 am :
I'm glad you like/understand my thought and feelings behind this. I'm sorry for your loss! 
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Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 5:10 am:
This was so beautiful. I think I almost cried while I read it. I recently lost my great-aunt, and it didn't hit me until two days after I found out. I kind of just talked to my sisters--it helped a lot. This memoir kind of brought back thoughts of her--but they're good thoughts. This was very well written, and truly inspiring. :)
Danealle replied...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 8:05 am :
I'm glad you liked it! I'm sorry for your loss.
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Marieweibel said...
Jul. 16, 2011 at 12:44 am:
Hey thank you for reading my writting! Your memoir is very well done. You made the very painful truth about grief extremly understandable and relatable, which is not an easy thing to do. Your honesty is very refreshing! Thank you for sharing your story!
Danealle replied...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 8:04 am :
Your welcome and thank you for reading mine!
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ArgonElement said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 10:14 am:
This was a very artfully written memoir. I am amazed at how everyone copes differently. After my grandmother died I became an angry shell of a person. I am happy you wrote this memoir, it really inspires me to write one also.
Danealle replied...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 7:07 pm :
Thank you! 
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WritingSpasms said...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 7:41 pm:
I'm so sorry about what you went through. You wrote your memoir beautifully and brought out your emotions. I hope you continue on in your writing :)
Danealle replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 8:48 am :
Thank you so much! And I will keep writing! 
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CarrieAnn13 said...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 2:58 pm:

Great memoir!  You told the readers how you felt and they will draw their own conclusions at the end. 

I know how it doesn't help (someone who was pretty much a parent to me died), but you have my condolences.  And you were right about grief: the sadness never fully goes away.

Danealle replied...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 3:11 pm :
I'm glad you enjoyed it and i'm happy it's written in a way that people can relate to it
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Hooha said...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 10:58 pm:
This book sounds very intresting and filled with alot of emotions. I really enjoy books like that. I'll take some time to read this one it has definitely caught my attention. Nice job with your writing and keep doing what you love
Danealle replied...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 11:21 pm :
Thank you i appreciate that!
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katieann said...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 7:12 pm:
Strong emotions throughout, really demonstraited how passionate writting is to her and how it got her through such a tough time that not many people would be able to handle like she did. 
Summerchick98 replied...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 3:34 pm :
I love this story, I lost my father to Sarcoma Cancer. It happened when i was 9....I'm 13 now. I still miss him every day and night.
Danealle replied...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 3:49 pm :
I'm so sorry for your loss! I hope my story helped you. 
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