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You and I

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Author's note: Dedication J., I see your eyes everywhere I go, a pair of startling stars blinking...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: Dedication

J.,

I see your eyes everywhere I go, a pair of startling stars blinking back at me. You’re so far out of reach now, and yet your presence haunts me like a chasing shadow, twisting and twirling beneath my feet in a dancing ribbon, which threatens to strangle me to death. I can’t breathe–not until I find my way back to you.
Maybe I should stop chasing the past and move forward; it’s the only way to make sense of this: the truths I find amidst the sea of lies. Yet, where I’m going you can’t come along for the ride. God, I’m terribly afraid. Even now, I feel you slipping through my fingers like water, my mind struggling to remember what the future threatens to destroy. I can’t let you go.
So, I won’t.
I refuse to forget who changed my life forever. You forced me to find myself, and in finding you, I found God. It’s the truth; I don’t lie. You made me believe that there’s something better. You taught me to count the little miracles, because sometimes, the small gifts, well, they’re the really big ones.
You’re a miracle. Never let anyone tell you differently. I love you, forever and always.
I can only pray that in writing this book my words will lead you back to me in some permanent way, and also into the hearts of us all.

*This piece is SO important to me. It's very close to my heart. I want to share it with you. Although this story is based on a true story, all names, places, and events are fictional*  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 28 Next »

Prologue: Remember

I cannot imagine a world in which you don’t exist. Neither can I fathom why I am so completely helpless now when just a mere year before I would have brushed past you without a second thought, let alone the decency to glance into your eyes. I wouldn’t have spared a heartbeat to try to understand your pains, sorrows, and dreams. At that point, I was unconcerned with those I didn’t know, and much less intrigued by what I chose not to comprehend. My mind had demanded that I look away, turn my back on you, while my heart shivered beneath the shadow of who I’d become, instead of whom I wished to be.
Losing you is like a bullet throbbing in my chest–a lightning bolt of pain–that bears a hole within my soul. I feel like a place within me will be left behind, like a forgotten breath lost to the wind to be carried unto an unseen land. Unshed tears spill out behind closed lids as a silent sob racks my body because I can no longer protect you. My eyes still search for yours across the chasm the world has placed between you and me.
I remember the smile that had come so naturally, and the warmth in my heart; these feelings were so easy to hold with you near. Now it’s as though I never felt at all, like it was all some distant dream or ancient story that my heart recalls but my mind has forgotten. Often, I wonder if I shall lose it all, not knowing what was fact and fiction, forgetting who had changed my life forever. This is our story; these words are about you and me.
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 28 Next »


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This book has 4 comments. Post your own now!

IamtheshyStargirl said...
Jul. 17, 2013 at 1:06 pm
Oh my gosh! This is amazing, and I desperately want more. It's incredibly heartfelt, it brought tears to my eyes and I breezed right through all ten existing chapters. Thank you so much for writing this, I look forward to reading even more.
 
LoveHappens This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 22, 2013 at 2:34 am
Your comment just made my day! I will be posting more tomorrow. It will take a few days for it to go online, of course! Thanks for the kind words :)  I hope you keep reading!
 
BlottedInk said...
Jun. 25, 2013 at 9:08 pm
The best stories come from deep feelings....you nailed that! Nice job, I can totally see how writing this was a way to express your feelings. Keep up the good work and creative thinking and other will learn from you, myself included! :)
 
LoveHappens This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 22, 2013 at 2:31 am
Thank-you so much for your comment! :)
 

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