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With Me

I gaze into her radiant blue eyes;
I wonder- why would she ever leave me?
She says she has found a much better prize,
A man finer than I could hope to be.
It tears at me, it burns with ev’ry heartbeat…
My love, my ev’rything- she will forsake
Me, and shatter me with her dark deceit.
All the meaning from the life, she will take.
I listen to her voice but do not hear
As she says why she is no longer mine.
My thoughts, clouded and dull, begin to veer-
She does not see it; we are God’s design.
And the one way to keep her by my side
Is to hold her in this room, bound and tied.






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wolvesandwildernessThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 7 at 4:23 pm
Thank you. I thought I had it as 'my' in my original copy, but I guess not.
 
addictwithapenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 7 at 3:02 pm
This is a bit disturbing, but I imagine you meant it to be that way. You did well depicting the mind of the speaker, and it’s interesting to think about how the situation must seem completely different from the woman’s point of view. When you say “All the meaning from the life, she will take”, I think it would sound better to say “my life”. Otherwise, well done.
 
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