Rust and Stardust MAG

November 19, 2015
By mwilliams SILVER, Nashville, Tennessee
mwilliams SILVER, Nashville, Tennessee
6 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"People will always choose safety over freedom" -Napoleon Boneparte


My love kissed her hand in the gardens,
She smiled in the most sincere way,
Always bumped into each other, pardons
Said, but I heard the words he didn’t say,
When they whispered under the new fruit tree,
And she smelled sweeter than the fruit’s
heavy scent,
When he took her hand just to ignore me,
I knew I could not go where she went,
I knew that I could never match her face,
She was always beautiful, even in death,
Her elegant bones were concealed in lace,
She’s beautiful until there’s nothing left.
But she had to disappear, dust to dust,
With one match I watched her combust to rust.


The author's comments:

To the ones who can't outlive their betters,

 

Even when they die.

 

As iron is eaten away by rust, so the envious are consumed by their own passion.

 

Antisthenes


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This article has 8 comments.


on Jan. 31 2016 at 6:21 pm
mwilliams SILVER, Nashville, Tennessee
6 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"People will always choose safety over freedom" -Napoleon Boneparte

When I wrote this at first it was to get back to the original intention of sonnets which primarily described love for a beautiful girl... but as usual, my darker sentiments bled through. I wrote this at the same time I wrote three other sonnets, two of which I disregarded, but the other one I always had the feeling was better than this one. This one was appreciated more in my circles and I concede that in description this one succeeded further, but with the other sonnet the ending stuck with me. I felt there was more real emotion and story in that one. (It starts off sounding like a person mourning their lost love ends when you realize that this is a murderer mourning their victim.) When I first wrote this one it felt bland. it was descriptive and nice sounding but there was nothing behind it. It wasn't until later when I re-read it (for the most part I tried to avoid looking at it) that I realized the sadness behind it. It appeared to me at first that this girl had won at the expense of the other girl. It wasn't until later I recognized that she hadn't won. Even with this girl dead she was still living in her shadow. She would never win. Really that's where the author's note comes from. Strangely enough, though, I did not read that quote until after I had written the poem. It was just chance. Thank you for your comment.

on Jan. 31 2016 at 9:36 am
PragmaticIdealist SILVER, Midlothian, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." -Edgar Allan Poe

Hmm, I guess because it is dark and beautiful yet so natural. What I mean by natural is the fact that death happens to everyone and we all become nothing eventually. I am assuming that the last lines are referring to cremation because of your lines, "She was always beautiful, even in death, Her elegant bones were concealed in lace, She’s beautiful until there’s nothing left." There is something raw about the feeling I experience when reading that. I feel satisfaction because although "the better" girl died the girl who the poem is speaking for almost won in a way. I guess I like it because I perceive it as raw in the sense that it is completely normal to turn to ash and go back into the earth but also the fact that I see a vindictive satisfaction for the "lesser" girl in the poem. Of course, this is all how I interpreted the poem itself.

on Jan. 26 2016 at 6:20 pm
mwilliams SILVER, Nashville, Tennessee
6 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"People will always choose safety over freedom" -Napoleon Boneparte

May I ask why?

on Jan. 26 2016 at 12:24 pm
PragmaticIdealist SILVER, Midlothian, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." -Edgar Allan Poe

I especially loved the last two lines. Great sonnet!

on Dec. 11 2015 at 7:30 pm
mwilliams SILVER, Nashville, Tennessee
6 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"People will always choose safety over freedom" -Napoleon Boneparte

Thanks... though this still slightly awkward... But thanks. I like the quote more than the poem.

on Nov. 21 2015 at 1:45 pm
mwilliams SILVER, Nashville, Tennessee
6 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"People will always choose safety over freedom" -Napoleon Boneparte

Thanks... though this still slightly awkward...

on Nov. 20 2015 at 11:42 pm
futurista12 ELITE, Far Rockaway, New York
615 articles 1 photo 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And though she be but little, she is fierce."- Shakespeare

This is beautiful.

on Nov. 20 2015 at 5:51 pm
mwilliams SILVER, Nashville, Tennessee
6 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"People will always choose safety over freedom" -Napoleon Boneparte

So.. this is awkward...


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