Shattered Water | Teen Ink

Shattered Water

January 30, 2013
By Bubbs GOLD, Rowlands Gill, Other
Bubbs GOLD, Rowlands Gill, Other
11 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be so good that they can't ignore you."


Often I look to the water
And I do not see my reflection anymore,
The surface ripples in the breeze
Allowing me to know something’s underneath,

Even when distorted
I see him daring me to take the forfeit,
I continue to search
For what it submerged,

But all I see is him. Blue eyes
Staring at me, tempting me to break,
The pain is bundled inside of me
Like the dark secrets of this lake,

The moments I shared with him
Start to seep out the cracks,
Trickling out of my eye
Like a rusty leaking tap,

A leaf stirs the water
And I cannot see his eyes anymore,
My frustration rattles like a breeze
Until my true despair scuttles back underneath.


The author's comments:
The story of a girl who denied how much she loved him

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This article has 4 comments.


Bubbs GOLD said...
on Feb. 10 2013 at 7:34 am
Bubbs GOLD, Rowlands Gill, Other
11 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be so good that they can't ignore you."

Thanks! I'm working on my rhyming skills seen as most of my previous poems don't rhyme. :) xx

on Feb. 9 2013 at 2:09 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

I love the imagery adn the word "scuttles". Great word choice. Your rhyming in the first stanza seems the tiny bit forced, but I don't think it's something you need to worry about, considering this poem is straight from your heart. Grat job.

Bubbs GOLD said...
on Feb. 6 2013 at 2:18 am
Bubbs GOLD, Rowlands Gill, Other
11 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be so good that they can't ignore you."

Thanks!! :)

on Feb. 5 2013 at 5:21 pm
WaffleOcean2934 PLATINUM, Rogers, Minnesota
42 articles 9 photos 116 comments

Favorite Quote:
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams-Eleanor Roosevelt

I love poems about water.  I also really like the imagery.  Nice work on it!