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Here Lies the Orange Rose

Paper mâché and eyes blue glazed
You pull me close
I move with you, life's just a faze.

And with your voice
Soft as baby's breath
You tell me you're not ready.
Petals tremble in the heat
Your shell soon to be empty

And you loved life
Too much, they say
And the world would love
For one blossom's stay

But you have to go,
The season's done
The petals fall
To where they come

Few are left i watch them close
Around you, dismiss you
And here lies the orange rose,

The thing you left behind.



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HiddengoldTee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 11, 2013 at 12:27 am
Very true thank you for your comment! The problem is I don't want my rhyming poems to go under "free verse" (even though they are). There woul be less of this is there was a section labelled "rhyming free verse" or something like that...
 
gfukesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:23 pm
ooh... I really like...the descriptions are awesome!! (& also the orange rose tht is not pink lol) it's got a really calming, ethereal cadance to it that I love:)
 
HiddengoldTee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:07 pm
Thank you :) I think it's my favorite
 
Sonnetman said...
Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:07 am
No offense, but what qualifies this to be a sonnet? Am I missiog something? What you have is nice and creative, but it's not a sonnet. Remember -- 14 lines of iambic pentameter in three quatuains and a couplet, wiwth rhyming scheme of abab cdcd efef gg (Shakespearean) or Petrarchan - octave and sestet -- abbaabbba cdcdcd or cdecde. There's more, but you get the point. Good writing!
 
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