Do you know this country’s money is supposed to be shared?

Yes, but since I hid it, I didn’t think anybody cared.

Wasn’t fighting crime the theme of your latest resolution?

Taking bribes from my friends isn’t grounds for execution.

Why didn’t you spend that aid money on hurricane relief?

I thought my palace could really use some new gold leaf.

Do you care that it costs so much for a few ounces of grain?

Not if I am still provided with my favorite champagne.

And wasn’t your government going to fill in every pothole?

That was before I added my sons to my payroll!

Did you hear that homes were destroyed in the latest storm?

It is summer time; people don’t need shelter to keep warm.

It’s weird that you’d actually consent to see a reporter.

I’ll pay you to keep your mouth shut and say that everything’s in order.