Pieces of November

December 22, 2011
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Pink rosy cheeks illuminate throughout
Her brown cute freckles dance across her face,
But often beauty has a lot of doubt,
I wonder if with her this is the case?
I see green eyes, they say we need to talk.
Her hands move slowly towards her lovely mask.
Into the brisk November night we walk,
With every hopeful word, we tend to bask.
We see the stars light up the shattered street.
She brushes silky hair away to view
Her lips say words I never will repeat.
I merely utter one more, “I love you.”
I dry her tears, for she is half my soul,
Yes, love can take a very heavy toll.

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Angela said...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 10:20 pm
too lazy to log in, but this was really good :) keep writing
holyblondecheerleaderbatman said...
Mar. 21, 2012 at 10:20 pm
this is amazing 
Black_Moon said...
Mar. 20, 2012 at 8:24 am
Very Good.....
AlexOdyssey said...
Mar. 19, 2012 at 10:28 pm
I enjoy the end of the poem. The whole poem is well flowed and constructed. I enjoy the detail. Nice work.
Sapphire1225 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 19, 2012 at 10:28 pm

nice :)

the last stanza is sweet :)

please check out my poem - R.M.S.Titanic

Jessica said...
Mar. 19, 2012 at 10:15 pm
wow. That was so deep. i really liked how you talked about this girl with so much love, even though she didnt return the love to you. I am sorry:/ i hope she starts likeing you soon. 
The_Bleeding_Muse said...
Mar. 13, 2012 at 8:21 pm
I like it a lot! i like the words
OwlEyes6 replied...
Mar. 19, 2012 at 12:39 pm
I also liked your word choice. Good job!
Khiana said...
Mar. 9, 2012 at 9:28 pm
love it. pple need to read this.
NickyJ said...
Mar. 9, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I'm not as fond of the beginning so much as the ending. Gotta say I'm really fond of the last line. How true it is.

I think why i might like this poem os much is because it draws inspiration from the idea of of a solitary "girl", at least on the literal level. It's where I draw my inspiration from as well.

That girl said...
Mar. 8, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Oh my gosh, this is so good. More people need to read this!
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