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Razorblades

Rustling of newly fallen furrowed leaves,
Penetrating wind flies between the pack,
Huddled form, hearing only as she grieves,
No one moves, only words of pain attack,
Bottle broken, shards covering the form,
Coppery liquid running down cut wrists,
Thunder, pounding rain joining to the storm,
The crowds disperse, only one soul persists,
Hand reaches outward, fingers intertwined,
He holds her close, whispering in her ear,
Fight for your life, no matter how unkind,
When it’s too hard to take, I will be here,
Dropping the razor, forgetting the pain,
Never used again to slice her own vein.





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This article has 28 comments. Post your own now!

born2bewriting said...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 1:57 pm
great job! you know, if you're interested in poetry you might want to try writing a sestina. they are my favorite poems. you can look up the format on google bc its difficult to describe. have fun! its a challeging format but once you're done, its quite satisfying.
 
Delictious replied...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 3:21 pm
Thanks! And I'll be sure to check it out(:
 
CarrieAnn13 said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 8:12 pm
Beautiful!  I love the imagery in your poem. :)
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 11:28 pm
Thankk you so much!
 
paige14 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 10:55 am
Wow...this really makes you think about how much cutting hurts the cutter and how much it hurts everyone around them. A great message and a great poem
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Thankk you so very much! :D
 
whitstar27 said...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 10:59 pm
I felt that this poem succeeded in conveying the message you intended for it to. I enjoyed it
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 11:19 pm
Thankk you!
 
hanging_girl_666This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 16, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Last line is my favorite. Amazing.
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 16, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Thankk you!
 
Megan.J.BThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 16, 2011 at 9:14 am
I enjoyed this piece a lot! :) you have a good sense of word choice and of rhythm. Well done!
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 16, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Thankk you!
 
Laina13 said...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 9:53 pm
I really am fond of this poem. I can't explain how but it seems to relate to me. Very well done and the details were wonderful.
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 9:59 pm
Thank you so much!
 
Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Very well done! The diction was perfect, and I love the message. I found absolutely no mistakes. This is great! :)
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Thank you! I'm reading your novel right now! I really like it so far(:
 
NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 2:55 pm
Just lovely! Wonderful word choice and rhymes. Packed with emotion! Keep it up!
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 6:07 pm
Thank you!
 
alex198 said...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Wow, this is really good! It's very well written and it's so sad! I love it :)

 

 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Thank you very much! :D
 
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