My Own Cross To Carry

May 13, 2011
Don't let my smile fool you
Looks can be deceiving
Maybe calm on the outside
But inside, I'm screaming

Screaming out of pain
A pain that can not be at ease
The pain of getting an endless series of tattoos
The naked eye can't see

My skin feels dirty
My blood feels unclean
I lack purity
God, please help me

You sent me a sign
To hand it all over to you
But how could I?
After all I've been through

In secret, I cry
But pull it together and smile
Tuck all the hurt away
Or throw it into a pile

Just for a while
Enough to make you believe
That I'm a perfect little angel
And that nothing's bothering me

But you're sadly mistaken
Because behind my smile
Is a waiting to let go
Of the pain she went through as a child

Until then,
If I seem a bit dreary
You must excuse me
I've got my own cross to carry.

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