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Him & Him

January 15, 2010
By electrichearts SILVER, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
More by this author
electrichearts SILVER, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together. "

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Commandments stone on slave-prince mountain maul
Less pay rebuke from quiet burdens pained
Thy new deems obsolete hath heaven call
Weeping doves cast crimson, edicts inane
Virtuous bride veneer exalting fifth
Wed tender beguil’d hands dearth commonplace
Forsake poor ills cherishing dev’lish sift
Abstract His binding ring; expunge thy grace
Hath said adoration shall relish flaws
Perhaps claimed forth heeding His hail and beck
Yet so accept tragedies, tender claws
Vehement joys s’rrounding thy face and neck?
Discern, breed sheep, elude, lest He appease
Exist no truer words abode of these

The author's comments:
This was written about a battered wife, who fears to leave her husband due to her commitment to God and religion, public scorn, and her husband. It does not take place in any specific place or time as such women have almost always and as long as partnerships have existed, suffered in silence. It tries to say that despite the Bible's intention to promote peace, love, and devotion in marriage, the social bind can also destroy when a spouse becomes abusive.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 111 comments.

electrichearts SILVER said...
on Feb. 27 2010 at 3:07 pm
electrichearts SILVER, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together. "

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lol, thanks, Mom
electrichearts SILVER said...
on Feb. 27 2010 at 3:06 pm
electrichearts SILVER, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together. "

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Thanks! I tried to clarify as it I figured the message could be a little tricky.
electrichearts SILVER said...
on Feb. 27 2010 at 3:05 pm
electrichearts SILVER, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together. "

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Haha, I know. 95% of pieces in the sonnets section are not sonnets. lol
electrichearts SILVER said...
on Feb. 27 2010 at 3:04 pm
electrichearts SILVER, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together. "

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The first 'him' is the husband and the second is God.
electrichearts SILVER said...
on Feb. 27 2010 at 3:03 pm
electrichearts SILVER, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together. "

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1. Yes, I do believe in God (I'm Episcopalian).

2. Yes, this is my original work.

3. I am 15.

& Thank you! <3
electrichearts SILVER said...
on Feb. 27 2010 at 3:02 pm
electrichearts SILVER, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together. "

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Thank you for all the compliments! They mean so much. Regarding your questions, I am a girl and it took me about 40 minutes to write this. Shakespeare is one of my favorites. Thanks again! :)
flyinghigh said...
on Feb. 27 2010 at 2:59 pm
you are truly a fantastic writer. at first, i was a bit lost with the message, but during the second & third readings, it clicked. this does not sound like a teen's writing... you are clearly wise beyond your years. beautiful!
AmereMortal GOLD said...
on Feb. 27 2010 at 11:52 am
AmereMortal GOLD, Russellville, Alabama
14 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
do or do not there is no try, starswars movie.

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awesome sonnet I realy did'nt get it at first but then I read your side post and it all fell into place.
noelleism PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 8:55 am
noelleism PLATINUM, Russellville, Alabama
24 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can not dwell on the past, and I will not live on what the future may hold, but yet take comfort and find perpose in the second yet to come.

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Um...There's two Hims', Is the second God?
noelleism PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 8:52 am
noelleism PLATINUM, Russellville, Alabama
24 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can not dwell on the past, and I will not live on what the future may hold, but yet take comfort and find perpose in the second yet to come.

View profile
By the way, you really know what a sonnet is. Your the fist sonnet I've read in the sonnet section
noelleism PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 8:48 am
noelleism PLATINUM, Russellville, Alabama
24 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can not dwell on the past, and I will not live on what the future may hold, but yet take comfort and find perpose in the second yet to come.

View profile
Do you believe in God?

Is this truely your original work?

How old are you?

Your work is just so good.
noelleism PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 8:32 am
noelleism PLATINUM, Russellville, Alabama
24 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can not dwell on the past, and I will not live on what the future may hold, but yet take comfort and find perpose in the second yet to come.

View profile
Are you a guy? well...awesome poetry. I've been on teen ink for a While and I've never read anything like this. Your way of wording...O.M.G. Your Incredible. How long did it take you to right this? I can totaly tell you've read Shakespeare. Love your effect. deffinatly keep writeing and don't ever let anyone disscourage you. :)
thehafeisawake said...
on Feb. 22 2010 at 6:34 pm
This is excellent. Your writing tone is just like my cousin's, which rings true to an almost Elizabethan-era sound. I like it; it appeals to the more classical side of my taste.
christaguide said...
on Feb. 20 2010 at 12:28 pm
I would've guessed Shakespeare had composed this. Stellar, honey ;)
Inked said...
on Feb. 19 2010 at 4:44 pm
this is a truly beautiful poem! my compliments to the gifted writer <3
fragrentt said...
on Feb. 19 2010 at 1:41 pm
How gorgeous
carol said...
on Feb. 19 2010 at 1:33 pm
Lovely sonnet! You are amazingly talented!
nyclover said...
on Feb. 14 2010 at 12:25 pm
You are such an amazing writer! Hopefully this will make the magazine! It would be such a wonderful addition! <3
jellybean said...
on Feb. 14 2010 at 12:23 pm
que bello!!
susie said...
on Feb. 1 2010 at 3:44 pm
beautifully written! articulate and graceful!