A trail of lie's

A lie tears you up inside,
Makes sure emotions cannot hide,
Leaves you broken on the floor,
Kicking till your heart is sore,
Bleeding, not blood, but waves of sorrow,
These wounds will not heal by tomorrow,
They'll keep a chronic pain going,
Make sure you are always knowing,
Then they heal but the mark is there,
And any pressure it will tear,
leave you back on that floor,
Lookin for that unseeable door,
A lie can change everything,
its the noble steed to ending,
A lie cannot stop love though,
In the end its the dead weed that helps it grow.





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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

darkprincess said...
Dec. 17, 2009 at 2:54 pm
i like this the flow is really nice, but it seems to be missing emotion it seems like you just kind of wrote it on the spur of the moment, but still good job :]
 
SilverDawn said...
Dec. 11, 2009 at 3:12 am
Hey, great poem! I really like it but I have some suggestions of minor changes~
In the line that goes "They'll keep a chronic pain going" i think you should split "they'll" into "they will" to keep up the flow as i found it a little short.
And I think it'd be better if the 10th line was "Add any pressure and it will tear". I think that 's what you meant but didn't write out. Just small things (: I love it !
 
bluemagnet22 said...
Dec. 8, 2009 at 1:50 pm
I like it
vry well writen
with a nice flow:)
 
Gatorpoet replied...
Dec. 9, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Ha thanks a lot
 
jessi said...
Dec. 5, 2009 at 11:18 pm
O.o you are an amazing poet... so jealous right now. really like the 5 and 6 lines... overall good job!
 
Snowflakes-in-My-Tears replied...
Dec. 9, 2009 at 7:30 pm
great job Gator! L-O-V-E it
 
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