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Dysfunctional


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We were so wrong,
That we made it right.
We slept through the day,
And only talked at night.
We never told the truth,
We only lied.
We always laughed,
When we should have cried.
We were never bland,
We had to add spice.
We were always naughty,
But rarely nice.
We used the words hate,
Instead of using love.
We fell into a ditch,
Instead of rising above.



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Karalee B said...
May 2 at 7:51 am:
This is a really amazing sonnet. You had a nice use of oxymorons (like we were wrong and we were right)  to make a point and to show that you felt one way, but also felt another.
 
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book lover said...
May 1 at 2:36 pm:
I think this poem shows the human emotions making a very amazing poem. you also had rythym and used "we" over again which made the whole poem.
 
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Ivalyn(: said...
May 1 at 2:06 pm:
I liked how you had a lot of rhythm and how you used pathetic fallacy to give more detail about the subject.  Great job(:
 
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Mitch said...
May 1 at 11:24 am:
I loved your sonnet! I really liked that you had good rhythm. It was even a little catchy if that makes any sence. I hope you make another poem like this cause I would gladly read it. :)
 
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Insert Name Here said...
May 1 at 11:20 am:
This is an amazing sonnet about a personal problem. Many people have this problem. This poem could help people everywhere. I liked how you used hyperboles to make it easier to understand how you feel.
 
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Mr. Charles Blake said...
May 1 at 10:43 am:
The poem was a great sonnet! I really liked how you used a form of alliteration in your writing.
 
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NOLDEG said...
May 1 at 10:30 am:
This is an amazing sonnet about a personal experience.  The hyperbole made it easier to understand what you had to go through.
 
mr. charles blake replied...
May 1 at 10:36 am :
The poem is a really great sonnet! i like how you used a type of alliteratino at the beginnig of most verses
 
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KaraleeB said...
May 1 at 8:08 am:
This poem had a lot of nice use of oxymorons. the words were contradicting each other, but the sentences themselves made sense. There was a lot of good use of figurative language.
 
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WriterReaderMusicLoverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 18 at 8:03 pm:
Great Job! I love your word choice, very well writen! This really gives a new twist to poetry about relationships by showing the fairy tale ending doesn't always happen! Good use of repitition too! Keep up the good work!:)
 
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svds1This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 2 at 5:00 pm:

LOL, yeah I can see why it didn't work out :)

 

 
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PosiedensheartbreakThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 3 at 7:58 pm:
I just got out of a really distructive relationship and this poem just summed it up for me
 
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EmiliciousThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 3 at 9:39 am:
I absolutely loved it. It reminded me of one of my relationships as well. Keep writing, you're so talented.
 
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EternallyMe03This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 12 at 7:47 pm:
Great and totally relatable poem- I really like the ending and how it sums everything up, yet still leaves you wanting more. Beautiful job.
 
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3FranThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 12 at 5:58 pm:
very well expressed + i love the words u chose to make it rhyme
 
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JuneTazThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 3:47 pm:
This poem is cool because it describes the bad in a relationship, and that line "We only lied" is relatable to. Thanks for taking out the cheesiness connotated with love! 8-D
 
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ThursdayAngelusThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 9:43 am:
It was very well written, and i liked the way you used the repetitive beginnings for lines, it really helped drive the feeling of the peom home. Over all, it was really emotional, and i liked it alot.
 
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TaylorJadeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 8:52 am:
Wow. This is just like my crazily messed up and barely functional relationship. It is insane. People just don't understand the half of it when I say, 'It's complicated.' Haha. (: anyway. This is amazing! You did a FANTASTIC job with it! (: I love it!!!
 
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mfischerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 1:15 pm:
I think this can relate to alot of relationsships It is a really good poem i like it :)
 
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NightGoddess17This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 8:15 am:
i love the honesty of this poem! it's very powerful
 
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SwagGuy101This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 12:20 am:
I like this a lot it reminds me of my own, could you please look at mine and give me some advice if you can.
 
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PrincessBubblegumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 11:38 pm:
I dig this. It's a familiar feeling. 
 
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Lola_BlackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 8:23 pm:
I love it! Very honest and beautiful. To tell the truth, I thought it was about a family at first.
 
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foolish_dorkThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 11:05 am:
this poenm is beautiful and plain out honesty and simple <3 it !!! i hope you continue writing poems
 
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FULLSTOPThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 3:48 am:
ow. i really can see why it didn't work out. but i see that because of the talent u have. please check out some of my work! thanks x
 
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petleavittThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 2:17 pm:
I love this!! plz check out my work everyone!!! and comment
 
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TaylorBreanneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 25, 2011 at 8:02 pm:
I really like this. I could really relate. I would love to know what you thought about my writing, so please check it out ! thanks !
 
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CalliashiThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 24, 2011 at 11:08 am:
Good poem. The relationship didn't seem to work out, lol. But really this is a great piece. I'll be looking out for your other pieces as well ;)
 
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Narene_babyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 2, 2011 at 6:29 pm:

I really enjoyed this peice. You put the realtionship in words everyone understood but still had a good flow. If you would like you should check out some of my poems. I am somewhat new at this site and would love your feed back. :)

 

 
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FreedomIsMyVirtueThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 6, 2011 at 9:06 pm:
The reasons why relationships don't work! Good job on this poem! 
 
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iHopeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 3:19 pm:
Very interesting... it described the actions of many people in modern society. Beautiful job (:
 
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zone7494This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 8:25 pm:
I love this poem it's different. You should check out my poetry here's the link to one of my poems http://teenink.com/poetry/sonnet/article/349142/poetry-speaks/
 
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SierrahThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 6, 2011 at 8:35 pm:
Beautiful, it was nicely written :)
 
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EnochDreamsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 21, 2011 at 11:43 am:
How did it get its name?
 
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shays said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 12:35 pm:
i still liked this poem although the relatonship between u n whoever didnt work out. lolz it actually reminded of a realtionship of mine too. gud work!
 
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Kaitlyn S. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 10:51 pm:
This is really, amazing. I'm sorry to hear about what happenned with your relationship, though. It seems that you came out of it stronger, and for that, props to you.
 
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RanaHewezi1998 said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 10:39 pm:
i'm sorry the relationship didn't work out :( nicely written
 
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DisicpleofChristandJesusEnthusiastThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 3:38 pm:

Nicely written, refreshing. Great job.

 

 
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lovemeso14 said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 2:03 pm:
I definitely can relate to tis. Amazing work, great job :')
 
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kat27 said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 4:44 pm:
very short. thumbs up.
 
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Bren_Bren said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 6:23 pm:
This poem is great!! Love it
 
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introducing.me_899This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 11:04 am:
ooh, kool rhyming, awesome poem :D it was worded nicely.. Great job, i liked it!!
 
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avantgarde said...
Aug. 11, 2010 at 7:34 pm:

I love the realness of this poem! Very lovely, but it's not a sonnet. Sonnets have ten syllables per line, and their rhyme scheme goes like this:

 ABABCDCDEFEFGG

But nice work anyways :)

 
foolish_dorkThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 11:04 am :
indeed...agree with ya as well
 
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ShenelleCrystalx3 said...
Jun. 19, 2010 at 8:53 am:

this is really good :) keep it up

please come check out some of my work =]

 
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jun. 21, 2010 at 11:27 am :
Thank you!!
 
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PoetryLovesMe said...
Jun. 15, 2010 at 9:05 pm:
really nice work i can totally see why it ddnt work out nice job .. i really like the rhyming!! plz check out my work thnx!!!:]
 
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jun. 21, 2010 at 11:25 am :
Thank you:) ya it's just a lil bit obvious right?!? lol
 
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Miseltoe said...
May 7, 2010 at 5:35 pm:
Nice... I like how your poem can apply to many types of relationships not just a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Its refreshing
 
bluemagnet22 replied...
May 11, 2010 at 3:06 pm :
Thank U:):)
 
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