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Dysfunctional

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We were so wrong,
That we made it right.
We slept through the day,
And only talked at night.
We never told the truth,
We only lied.
We always laughed,
When we should have cried.
We were never bland,
We had to add spice.
We were always naughty,
But rarely nice.
We used the words hate,
Instead of using love.
We fell into a ditch,
Instead of rising above.




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PurplePandaPoo said...
Nov. 19, 2013 at 1:58 pm:
Lets be honest. It would be pretty boring if your relationship was perfect. A few bumps in the road just make it more interesting. (;
 
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Tony P. said...
Nov. 7, 2013 at 10:30 am:
Really good I poem. I really enjoyed it!
 
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AlabianThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 5, 2013 at 9:06 pm:
This is really, really good! I like the title! Five stars:))
 
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Christian T. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 2, 2013 at 12:55 pm:
This poem is amazing! I don't really have anything bad to say about that. Great job!!!
 
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jetta.ckThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:10 pm:
I loved this! Great job. It's edgy yet fantastically written. The juxtapositions, again, fit the piece really well. To sum it all up, great poem. This is definitely somehting to be proud of.
 
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DreamingOfNirvanaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 1, 2013 at 8:10 pm:
WOW. Just... wow.
 
xofelicia97 replied...
Nov. 19, 2013 at 10:50 am :
Exactly! I love this. I'm speechless.
 
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loverofmostthingswritten said...
Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:32 pm:
This is really good. You've presented the things that seem so good at the time but maybe shouldn't be really way. Great use of juxtaposition. It flowed really well.
 
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InkWriter13 said...
Jun. 14, 2012 at 9:21 pm:
I like the juxtapositions here. Very effective. I also like that you used analogies that would be easily relatable to your audience/readers. This is always a true sign of a good writer. That's what makes it real and vivid and beautiful. Definitely a bad situation to be in, and definitely a relationship to avoid. Great poem. :D Would you please read and comment on my poem titled A Cure? I would really appreciate it! :D
 
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Karalee B said...
May 2, 2012 at 7:51 am:
This is a really amazing sonnet. You had a nice use of oxymorons (like we were wrong and we were right)  to make a point and to show that you felt one way, but also felt another.
 
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book lover said...
May 1, 2012 at 2:36 pm:
I think this poem shows the human emotions making a very amazing poem. you also had rythym and used "we" over again which made the whole poem.
 
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Ivalyn(: said...
May 1, 2012 at 2:06 pm:
I liked how you had a lot of rhythm and how you used pathetic fallacy to give more detail about the subject.  Great job(:
 
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Mitch said...
May 1, 2012 at 11:24 am:
I loved your sonnet! I really liked that you had good rhythm. It was even a little catchy if that makes any sence. I hope you make another poem like this cause I would gladly read it. :)
 
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Insert Name Here said...
May 1, 2012 at 11:20 am:
This is an amazing sonnet about a personal problem. Many people have this problem. This poem could help people everywhere. I liked how you used hyperboles to make it easier to understand how you feel.
 
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Mr. Charles Blake said...
May 1, 2012 at 10:43 am:
The poem was a great sonnet! I really liked how you used a form of alliteration in your writing.
 
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NOLDEG said...
May 1, 2012 at 10:30 am:
This is an amazing sonnet about a personal experience.  The hyperbole made it easier to understand what you had to go through.
 
mr. charles blake replied...
May 1, 2012 at 10:36 am :
The poem is a really great sonnet! i like how you used a type of alliteratino at the beginnig of most verses
 
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KaraleeB said...
May 1, 2012 at 8:08 am:
This poem had a lot of nice use of oxymorons. the words were contradicting each other, but the sentences themselves made sense. There was a lot of good use of figurative language.
 
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WriterReaderMusicLover said...
Mar. 18, 2012 at 8:03 pm:
Great Job! I love your word choice, very well writen! This really gives a new twist to poetry about relationships by showing the fairy tale ending doesn't always happen! Good use of repitition too! Keep up the good work!:)
 
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svds1 said...
Mar. 2, 2012 at 5:00 pm:

LOL, yeah I can see why it didn't work out :)

 

 
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