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I saw you today,
But you're not as I remember.
Your eyes no longer sparkle,
You've changed since last September.

You were so full of life,
Yet now you are so cold.
Your personality has tarnished,
When you once had a heart of gold.

You fell out of my life,
Just like leaves in the fall.
We were so very close,
Now you're not here at all.

You saw me today,
I'm the same as you remember.
My eyes still sparkle,
I've not changed since last September.



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GoGoGryffindor said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 2:27 pm
This is a wonderful poem. I really like the emotion in it. This is a very relatable poem. Good job!
 
RedDaisy said...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 9:13 pm

A very beautiful poem indeed~ Your writing style reminds me of my own in that I like to finish with the beggining. Very strong, very deep. May that person inspire you to create another poem -one where the good times of the past reappear and find a permanent place in the present-

~RedDaisy~

 
gazbeannie said...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Simple, yet says a lot! :)
 
Chass said...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 12:11 pm

WOW!!! That is soo true.. 

 

 
*beautiful*spirit*This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 1, 2011 at 6:44 pm
Absolutely beautiful!!
 
SummerBlossom said...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Wow... I really like this. Love the tie back to the beginning! Keep writing! :)
 
sunshine7223 replied...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 10:13 pm
SUPER GOOD!
 
tweetiebruce said...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 5:22 am
This is a very well done poem, it is truly beautiful :) Congrats on writing a brilliant poem. Please check out some of my work if you can, i would like some feedback! :D Keep up the writing
 
Number3 said...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Amazin!

 

 
Melody777 said...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 11:40 am
This was great, you put so much feeling into a short amount of space. Impressive!
 
EscapeSanity said...
Nov. 21, 2011 at 3:10 pm
This is an amazing poem. Sonnets are my favorite. I love how this can relate to anyone and everyone and says so much in only a few lines. AMAZING <3
 
Terraincognita said...
Nov. 16, 2011 at 7:24 am

good poem! But it's not in sonnet form...

sonnets are written 10 sylables by 10 lines in this rime order:

a

b

a

b

c

d

c

d

e

e

 
kobie1kenobi said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 9:19 am
I really did enjoy it, thank you. It relates to just about everyone, the main idea of it and all. It was extremely well-worded, the rhythm was all together, and the whole feel of it all captivates the reader. I guess you could say that it emanates good vibes. ;)
 
irishlass317 said...
Nov. 13, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Very Good!!!! I love it!!!! :D

 

 
Jinxness said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 4:37 pm

I cannot put words to how accurately this represents how I have felt, and still feel. So I will leave it at an enthusiatic 'well done'.

~Jinx <3

 
BlackRose21 said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm
I totally agree. I have seen alot of this happening.
 
Katherine_Parker said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 11:32 am
This is very good:)
 
bakedbeans said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 11:21 am
I kind of like this it's true and nice
 
writer101 said...
Nov. 8, 2011 at 4:53 pm

It is good and yes i agree with it is sad.Grat work!

 

 
Chelsyy said...
Nov. 4, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Wow i can so relate so simple but says it all amzing x33
 
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