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I saw you today,
But you're not as I remember.
Your eyes no longer sparkle,
You've changed since last September.

You were so full of life,
Yet now you are so cold.
Your personality has tarnished,
When you once had a heart of gold.

You fell out of my life,
Just like leaves in the fall.
We were so very close,
Now you're not here at all.

You saw me today,
I'm the same as you remember.
My eyes still sparkle,
I've not changed since last September.

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DeadlyPoppy said...
Jan. 9, 2010 at 1:12 am
It was a very touching poem, but some of the words didn't quite flow, in my opinion. The word tarnished, specifically jumped out at me, and it didn't seem to fit. Other than that it was really good!
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jan. 12, 2010 at 9:43 am
Thanx for ur opinion
i rly appreciate hearing how pple think whether they like my poem r not
I used the word tarnished because metal tarnishes and gold is a metal n i said "when you once had a heart of gold"
But thanx for ur opinion:)
qtalli03 said...
Jan. 7, 2010 at 8:36 am
This poem is just amazing! I can relate to this so much. It's like you are reading my mind. It's awesome how much a poem can really touch you. I read in one of your comments that your goal is to make a difference in people's lives by your writing, and I am pretty sure that you will accomplish that, especially from this poem! Your word choice was really great!
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jan. 7, 2010 at 10:33 am
thank you so much:) ur comment was rly encouraging to me:) i love knowin i am making a difference n not just hopin it so thank u so much:) it rly touched me:)
hayli:) said...
Jan. 4, 2010 at 5:55 pm
This is absolutly amazing.. poems can't get much better than this.
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jan. 7, 2010 at 10:31 am
Awe thank u sooo much:))
Patricio said...
Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:24 pm
Poetry is not simple, quite bewildering. Continue to try and be apprehensive of your thoughts.
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jan. 7, 2010 at 10:30 am
I'm not quite sure what u mean...could u plz elaborate?
marie95 said...
Dec. 30, 2009 at 3:17 pm
I can completely relate to this. I miss my friend dearly since he moved. But he's changed. This poem has summed up pretty much whole relationship with since he moved. Truly wonderful.
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jan. 2, 2010 at 11:14 am
Awe thanx:)
I'm glad my poem meant something to you:)
I'm sorry about your friiend's so hard to keep a good friendship when someones moved
HanaMizzohh14 said...
Dec. 28, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Wow, i completely understand that.
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jan. 2, 2010 at 11:13 am
i'm glad lol i try to make my poems understandable!lol;)
Katrina L. replied...
Jan. 2, 2010 at 6:11 pm
This is exactly how i feel right now.My friend has changed so much and i feel like hes gone forever now.This was really great
kiwi12 said...
Dec. 28, 2009 at 3:05 pm
SO moving! you are amazingly talented. it makes me want to cry. (the poem.)
bluemagnet22 replied...
Jan. 2, 2010 at 11:12 am
Awe thanx:)
don't tear up too much lol
Jacee007 said...
Dec. 27, 2009 at 8:24 pm
wow very moving
Jimmy_flash said...
Dec. 27, 2009 at 2:55 am
what a great poem its really deep i can def relate really gud job!
bluemagnet22 replied...
Dec. 27, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Thank you very much:)
My poems always mean more to me when people can whole purpose behind writing is to make a difference in lives whether its one life or one I'm glad that you enjoyed my poem:D
bluemagnet22 replied...
Dec. 27, 2009 at 7:29 pm
you should submit some work:)
Rkingett This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 23, 2009 at 2:37 pm
I seriously have no idea why this poem was not published elsewhere! Oh my god! This poem touched me ever so much! I can imagine why so many people would relate to this! This poem was the best I have read all day. Kudos to you
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