Strife Or Love | Teen Ink

Strife Or Love

May 4, 2016
By astelaas19 BRONZE, Franklin, Wisconsin
astelaas19 BRONZE, Franklin, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Times fly by
This day became nigh.
Though I know what keeps me alive
And I must take the dive for what I must strive for
And I couldn't feel more
I put back the knives in the drawer
So close to slicing my legs on the room decor
Pain can't subside and inside, I've been dying as others have been lying
But me, I'll spend my whole life tryin'
I shout, but you walk another route.
Then I fell. It felt like I'd been dragged through hell.
You understand what the life of me demands you see
But that's just how some think it should be.
Because I look at what is unattainable, the anger and fear that is indetainable
Memories that aren't retainable
Now It's Becoming A Distant Fable

I left my destiny and petty life's troubles got the best of me.
But it should not define thee, through my raps they dance with glee.
With this battle I can't flee, but for others I wish they could see.
My mind turned blind,
Now I just want to rewind.
My emotions for you is something I vocalize.
People want it to sterilize.
But before you came my
Life was riding down and endless slope.
I always had a little hope
Every time I talk to you, all the times I walked with you. There is so much I want to do.
I put my dreams in rage.

My Feelings Are Locked In a Cage .
And When They Opened You Went Away.
All The Times I Caused Anguish.
It gave me a debt I want to pay it.
I lived life as a sad gamer, before you came it was a lot lamer.
But even with this hope, I'll know every time you'll say "nope".
Some days I cried, knowing that you're feelings for me subsided
I'm sorry you saw me express the way I felt,
I really shouldn't have tied my belt.
Now I grow without power,
And these days your friends see me as a prowler
My depression makes me sit exhausted in the shower as I turn on the faucet.
And I have now lost it.
It isn't just my glasses that gives me sight.
Because with you, I saw light.
Gotta accept it, I don't wanna fight.
Then you'll walk away,
I just don't know what else to say.
I know this jealousy ain't a fallacy.
But with the songs I wrote to you I thought you'd be proud of me.
But you probably just think I'm obsessed,
Still, in my heart our future is blessed
I pondered as the Asian Nerd:
Do I even deserve your words?
Or am I just some food for the rest of the herd.

My mind has bled.
But without you, I would probably be dead.
I'm about to blow a fuse because of every time you refused me but you ain't gonna lose me.
I even prayed for you to choose me.
I have to put my thoughts in motion,
And they spark everytime I hear the words feels like a healing potion.
Can't we just start over be made anew?

Thoughts brew, yet I don't know what else to do.
If only you would hear, but you're looking at me as if I'm someone you fear.
But if I lose you, the end is near.
For you I will always cheer.
It may seem like I am obsessed.
(You’d have to make me)
But to have you in my life makes me blessed.
I try so hard maybe you'll be impressed.
Nothing works, I think I’m still detested,
Others really bested me even with the determination,
This brings me a sensation the feeling that can’t separate this amalgamation.
I tried looking past the clearing, the sun burns my skin searing all my hopes and dreams,
Bright as the candles seems,
Not bright enough to light the dark that screams in my ear enough to make like dreary, failed to grasp nearly what life merely means.
I’ll sit and I’ll sigh, sippin’ bitter tea till the day I die.
Isn’t happiness with someone the thing we all strive for?
Or do you feel death closing live’s door?
No more, I can’t think,
I’m put on the brink,
My mind sinks, can’t run,
No, that’s it, I’m done.
 


The author's comments:

It was written for this girl I really liked.


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