The Tears Of the Souls in the Sky

March 24, 2012
They wait and watch,
they don't hesitate. . .

And as it starts to pour. . .
You kiss me more. . .

But then you turn around and walk away. . . Then you leave me in
the cold and pouring rain!

The tears of the souls in the sky!
Are meant for you! And only you!
Theses tear of mine! Are meant for you! And only you! And only you!

When you walk to her. . .
When you whisper in her ear
It tells me. . all that I need to know. . .

These rain drops, falling from the sky, are meant for you. . .
And only you!

These tears of mine! are meant for you! And only. . . you. . .





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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

GreekGoddess said...
Jun. 8, 2013 at 11:44 am
This is really quite good, a wonderful idea, and peice. As said before, you need more structure, but it's really good as it stands now :)
 
albinotiger said...
Jul. 27, 2012 at 7:01 pm
AWW thats so sweet and special!! (maybe check out my work sometime)
 
Free.Flying.Fallen.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 2, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Awww, thank you so much! :D and of course when I have time too! :P

 

~Free :)(:

 
4qui133 said...
Jun. 20, 2012 at 11:49 pm
you have a lot of raw emotion to work with--that is very good! As SirYouAreAsleep said, try and give more structure to it. Keep writing!
 
Free.2.Write.Forever.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 21, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Thank you so much! I really appricate it! 

 

~Free :)(:

 
4qui133 replied...
Jun. 21, 2012 at 9:04 pm
welcome! you might like my poem 'After Treatment,' too. :)
 
SirAreYouAsleep This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 31, 2012 at 9:24 am
What style is this supposed to be? And what's the rhythm like ? I do like the lyrics, and I would say just watch the Rhythm, but I don't know what to correct in it.
 
FreeBeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 3, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Thanks for commenting, and I haven't really found the rythm yet. :)(:
 
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