Do you know how long I have made myself sick with the thought of you pounding through my brain? Itâ€™s like Iâ€™m at war with myself, my heart dodging bullets that were fired by my brain; I am a walking battle field. Have you no shame? And when you lean into her, my vision starts to blur. Every time you wrap your arms around her, a little more light leaves my eyes. Why did I even try? Sitting so close to you, I cannot bring myself to look you in the eyes, because Iâ€™m tired of pretending that we were never an â€śusâ€ť. I cannot speak to you without fear; I do not want to watch my world collapse around me again. Sitting so close to you, Iâ€™m scared youâ€™ll see the scars that you left on my heart. Granted, youâ€™re the one who walked away, but Iâ€™m the one that let it fall apart. I try to keep myself from trembling as I hear the sound of your laugh. I was never warned of a pain so sharp. And yet you sit there, face so smug. Have you no shame? Have you an ounce of love? If you looked inside my soul, there youâ€™d see your name, carved on my heart of stone. Iâ€™ve beaten myself up so many times reassuring myself I am not the one who should bare the blame. Have you no shame? I believed all your promises, all your twisted messages. I thought we what we had was love, but still our love never was. I guess I wasnâ€™t worth that much. Do you know how painful it is to watch something die before it even starts? But still our story will never be forgotten, itâ€™s forever carved on my stony heart. Do you not realize what you did? My ever bleeding wounds are something that you controlled. And no matter how badly you try to forget about it, itâ€™s not something you can just UN-know. You took away my breath, you stole away my life. You cut out my heart then threw away the knife. Your silence numbs my soul; my heart caves in every time Iâ€™m near you. I can feel you screaming but I canâ€™t hear you. How can something be so broken if it never even began? Why taunt me with my own heart? Why clutch it in your hands? Our story is like a forgotten life, never given a chance. Our love is like a wallflower that never got to dance. After all that youâ€™ve done to me, I want only one thing; please, Iâ€™m not asking for a lot. As I walk away from you, heartless, I just want someone to remember the love story that the world forgot.
February 18, 2012