Right From the Start

By Shortiee, Miami, FL

Your telling me your leaving me
Telling me your staying
But I just want to know what game your playing

I trusted you with my secrets
I trusted you with my heart
You promised you'd never break it
Right from the start

I know I made mistakes
But at least I can own up to it
You're saying I'm cheating
But I'm not the one that's doing it

You think your cool but your acting very callow
You told me you loved me
But you keep that on the down low

I finally said it
I told you its over
He said to just get over it all of this will blow over

But I finally did it thought with my heart
And I knew it was over
Right from the start

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PrincessSparkleStar said...
Nov. 4, 2012 at 8:40 am:

This was very good! Very real, not like all fairy-tale perfect. :) Keep up the good work! Please would you also check out and rate my poem? http://teenink.com/poetry/ballad/article/499252/Take-a-Chance/

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Wearing_Westwood said...
Jul. 16, 2012 at 10:05 am:

I like the idea of your poem, but there were a few grammatical errors.

Most of the "your"s in your opem are supposed to be "you're"

and one of the "its" should be "it's"

but other than that I really liked the poem (and I can relate to it very well)

Keep writing!!!

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PawNight said...
Nov. 17, 2011 at 8:38 pm:

Amazing poem! I found a couple lines a little rough as I read through, but it all depends how a person reads poetry. I like it when my cousin reads poetry to me in another language because, rather than thinking of what it says, you can focus on the sound of how it goes... Flowing like water around a rock in the stream. I loved the meaning of the words, how it tells the story of a relationship, but many can relate because it is not specific in detail of what he did. Loved it!

Shortiee replied...
Nov. 20, 2011 at 7:38 pm :

thank you soo much... That really touches me :') lol thanks :)

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Cody_Goelz said...
Nov. 16, 2011 at 7:52 am:

this is really good it seems like a real life situation of yours that you put into words very good

Shortiee replied...
Nov. 17, 2011 at 8:21 pm :

Thank you... And it somewhat is.... please tell people about this poem. Thank you :)

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ErinMM said...
Oct. 3, 2011 at 8:26 pm:

that was the best poem ever. I love it, and would love to read more of your work.( yay first comment!!!!)

Shortiee replied...
Oct. 3, 2011 at 8:30 pm :

Thank you so much :) and yes first comment! :)