Scar Tissue

By , Mansfield, TX
Rumors circle the open air
As I look for an empty table
I see judging eyes everywhere
Watching me with hearts of sable

Why? Why? Why can't you understand?
I want to be alone, but
I want a friend, a helping hand
Something's always wrong: too many zits, hair too dirty
When I approach someone, they walk away
I walk up to a boy and try to get flirty
But I've said something wrong, and today's not my day.

“Why did she...? Why is she so..? Did you hear..?”
Did I hear? How could I not!
You whisper, look away: your accusations made clear
Is it me you slander? Well you can go rot!

I leave the room: the tables are full
Better not sit at all than sit with a stranger
For that's all you are. You're as stubborn as a bull
Why can't you be like the baby in the manger?

But then...why can' I?
Like you, I'm judging, I know
But your thoughts make me cry
In my heart they plant doubts that grow

But even ripped out
mowed over
ignored throughout
and broken,
they never completely heal...

...Like scar tissue...

Once more, I'm alone
That's all I ever am
I yearn for more, but this is all I've ever known
A life with no hope, and friends that are scams

I wish I was wallpaper: hanging around, but never seen
“They can't hurt someone they don't know”
That's what I say when my eyes get that shiny sheen
If there are no people, they can't cause woe.

I'm building a prison of my own design
Forged by the words of others
Guarded by my thoughts malign
And populated by another's.

I want to break out, but at the same time, I'm safe
I'm not attacked in a cage
But my self-formed manacles just chafe
And my doubts I won't engage

But when I'm not invisible, I'm seen
And I feel judging eyes everywhere
My actions mirror a machine's and
Rumors circle the open air





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yungforever said...
Mar. 17, 2011 at 12:06 pm
that is so true. i know how it feels to feel like that
 
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