If I Pulled The Trigger

September 16, 2012
I called out for help
But no one heard me above the roar.
My heart beats fast and my whole body is sore.

What would happen if I pulled the trigger tonight?
There would be no more pain
Just the pierce of the bullet.
Can it be true I'm becoming insane?

I'm aching and burning.
Then, I can't feel a thing.
If I pull the trigger
The gun will sing.

I hold it to my head
Take a deep breath
And count to three.
My little brother told me.
It's okay to be free.

But the gun drops at my side,
And I think:
Maybe some time I should bide.

A gunshot rings, echoing through the hall
A helpless plea, a helpless call.
I run from the room;
I promise I’ll be there soon!

My brother lay smiling in a dreamless sleep
The gun lay silently at his side.
I didn’t even get to say goodbye…

I reach for a note clutched tightly in his hand.
And I think:
Little Brother, why would you sink so low?
It shouldn't have been you who had to go!

My eyes skim the lines,
Did you forget all of our good times?

“You said you wanted to be free...
The same thing I want to be.
If you die,
I die too.
Suicide doesn't just affect you...”

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