why am i a self harmer?

October 24, 2009
the pressure will build
until im unaware of my actions
my awareness is slowly killed
my mood fleetingly darkens
why?why am i like this?

i need to release the pain of the day
there is no other way
to me i need to inflict upon myself what i derserve
or else the feelings will just preserve
if i didnt deserve this then why am i so drawn to it?
yes i will admit
that those slits
do not look pleasant
why ?why do i see this as the only option to relase my pain?

the truth is it makes me feel like the job is done the pain has been admitted to me
this addiction can never altar
why? why cant i just cope with emotions like normal people?

as my skin is left sore and marked upon
these feelings will never be foregone
some think its weird , some say its attentional
but in my mind its life to me
why? why cant people see its what my mind sets upon to go through the abuse i derserve

maybe god did not intend on this but there is one thing i am sure of
thousands of teens seek this as the way
to make the feelings go away
its useless it leaves scars but why cant i stop??

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

rainbowshine said...
Jun. 16, 2013 at 9:30 pm
i love this i am a self harmer to and i know how it feels ppldont understand they think im crazy or an attention seeker but this the only way i can really let go of the way i feel even though all it does is leave scars  
Nadds_67 said...
Jan. 10, 2012 at 5:10 pm
wow!! thats a really good poem, im very speechless thats how good it is:) good job! looking forward to reading some more of your poems.
miracle_of_hope said...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 4:28 pm
questions. amazing words, you will do well  in life
RawrIts.Karax33 said...
May 19, 2011 at 12:48 pm
I love this! it is amazing, I can relate to this A lot! I am also a self harmer I am not proud of it but at the same time I do not want to stop. :/ good luck I hope you feel better! [: and good luck!
billlover420 said...
Oct. 13, 2010 at 7:08 pm
i know what you mean by this poem i can realte to alot of it almost the hole thing i love this poem and you are a good writter kep going
Scout71 said...
Aug. 3, 2010 at 2:04 pm

"Why? Why can't I just cope with emtions like normal people?" Oh how I wonder that too so many nights...

Great job, I love this poem, the flow and of course the meaning you are a really good writer I think. :)

I hope you feel better. 

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