My Best Friend | Teen Ink

My Best Friend

June 2, 2009
By fallinglikesnowx SILVER, Creston, Ohio
fallinglikesnowx SILVER, Creston, Ohio
9 articles 0 photos 16 comments

I promised you a story, and it's a story that I'll tell.
A sad, sorrow story, of my whole life gone to hell.
I've been thinking of memories in the back of my mind,
I've been dwelling on tears, but it's the smiles I find.
For nights, I've lied awake,
Taking on all of my mistakes.
Words I've regretted and good decisions, I've spared-
I know he knew all along that we really cared.
I remember your smile as you hugged me goodbye,
I remember your tears as you started to cry.
I promised a story and it's a story I'll tell.
A long, endless story and I'll tell it well.

I remember your son, in the back of Goodwill,
Waiting for me to come, waiting there until-
I arrived late but he never did go.
He licked my face and I walked very slow.
I smiled in delight at my silly new friend,
I never wanted those moments to end.
But sadly they did; yet I knew we'd meet again,
All those years I had lost, this one I did win.

A Sarah and a Billie-
They were always so silly.
They were my first taste of love,
Best friends- heaven sent, from above.

"Spell my name with an 'ie!'"
He told me one day,
And from then on, I always spelt it that way.
I shied away when we spoke on the phone,
I'd always rather be alone.
I stayed up late, and laughed at his jokes,
I was alive and it was no hoax.

Is it a sin to attend church when
You're lacking faith? Is it a sin?
I did it anyways.

I longed for Wednesdays and sometimes Sundays, too.
I longed to smile with my best friends, to get the day through.
I remember my mother and the hate that she brought.
She disliked my friends and she always fought.
I remember a birthday when I was filled with joy.
I remember the cake fight, and the smile on that boy.
He, Sarah, and I- we rolled down the hill.
We were alive and full of free will.

We were full of laughter, of kisses, of hugs.
Sometimes we'd even, pretend to be thugs.
We were full of confusion, just trying to get by,
We'd stay up too late, asking the world, "why?"
Things got rough, and there wasn't much we could do.
We all began to cry, and I missed those two.
"It would be nice if we could run away,"
Things would all be great some day.

I was wrong and usually out of my place,
And always he came, to join my silly race.
We were full of anger, from time to time,
We even committed some stupid crimes.

Sarah and I knew what it was to feel alone,
And we could hear the truth, just behind someone's tone.
They locked away our best of friend,
We never wanted our memories to end.

Things were getting rougher, and we didn't know what to do.
We all cried too much, and I always missed those two.

I met a boy that I took into my life,
And he helped me through all my difficulties and strife.
I stopped writing my best of friends,
It was my fault that our memories did end.
I cried some nights, and I looked for pity,
I tried to be smart, I tried to be witty.
All wasn't lost, or at least I wouldn't let it be,
I hadn't changed and I would make them really see.

I made some mistakes, repeatedly, on end.
I knew that they would be hard to fully mend.
My best friends came back; still that boy was my one,
I looked at him and I saw the sun.
Can you blame a little girl, for falling in love?
But what happened to her best friends- heaven sent, from above?

I lied out my teeth and I shouted in anger,
I knew our friendship was in grave danger.
But I didn't care, I was blinded by love.

I never got to set things right
Because my best friend ended his life that night.
I cry at night, before I fall asleep
About a friendship I longed to keep.
I shut my closet door before I close my eyes,
Afraid he's hanging there, in disguise.
I dream dreams of happy endings,
But when I open my eyes, I know things aren't mending.

Where are my best friends now, you may ask.
She is lonely, and he completed his task.
Things got the roughest they had ever been,
And we were all alone, without a single friend.

I remember the morning when I heard what was true,
I didn't want to believe it; I didn't know what to do.
I called my best friend Sarah, even though we'd grow away,
I cried until I could cry no more, "Things shouldn't be this way."
I focused on my pain for two whole weeks in school,
But I couldn't be alone, I wouldn't be a fool.

I remember the night when I sat in my kitchen floor,
I was angry with my boyfriend, for talking to a w****.
We were about to carve pumpkins, when I got the phone call,
I dropped on my knees, and all I could do was bawl.

I wore a rainbow and some pink tights,
If he could see me then, he'd want to take back our fights.
His face was pale, and his hands were cold.
With his poorly done make-up, he looked very old.
I kissed his forehead and I began to weep,
I cried about the friendship that I had failed to keep.
I hugged the friends, some I hardly knew,
But really, I didn't know what else to do.

Today we may smile but we're all really dead,
Billie's always there, in the back of our head.
I hope he forgives me for all the times I was wrong,
I hope he knows for his smile, I do long.

It will never be the same, Sarah, Billie, and I.
We'll always be wondering why our best friend chose to die.

I promised you a story and it's a story I did tell,
Hold this close when your heart hurts like hell.
Now it's time for goodbyes, and I hope all is well.
Hold this close when your heart hurts like hell.

The author's comments:
I wrote this for my best friend, Billie's mom, after he passed away on October 21, 2007.

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This article has 108 comments.


on Sep. 4 2019 at 2:38 am
PoetFromAnotherPlanet GOLD, San Jose, California
15 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotions know what it means to want to escape from these things." -T.S. Eliot

Hey there, I too lost a friend to suicide. It's a very difficult loss, and I'm very sorry you have to go through it. Thank you for sharing your poem with us!

ughhhhhhh said...
on Jun. 27 2015 at 10:38 pm
ughhhhhhh, Beverly Hills, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
what am i missing

Lirah said...
on Mar. 29 2015 at 8:04 pm
Lirah, Montgomery, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Beautiful. Being able to express such emotion, being able to make the reader feel something so real and strong. Honestly this is one of the best poems I have ever read.

on Oct. 9 2014 at 11:49 am
dwitch31 BRONZE, Mumbai, Other
3 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
the future belongs to those people who believe in the beauty of their dreams

I have heard that pain creates the most beautiful works of literature. This is like the best poem I've ever read.

sarah98 BRONZE said...
on Apr. 26 2013 at 4:28 pm
sarah98 BRONZE, Holyoke, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 405 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to write for yourself and have no audience than write for your audience and have no self.

Beautiful beautiful beautiful. <3

on Dec. 13 2012 at 10:01 pm
Timmmaayyy BRONZE, Plaquemine, Louisiana
1 article 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Yes I am a Christian, but I am not perfect.

WOW this poem jus blew my mind. That was awesome man sorry for your lost.

on Oct. 6 2012 at 4:39 pm
CreativeWriter2015 SILVER, Colorado Springs, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be kind. Be smart. Be important." - The Help
"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." -A Cinderella Story

This was such an awesome piece that you wrote!!! Do you have any others?

S.Jones said...
on May. 8 2012 at 5:24 pm
S.Jones, Mount Olive, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Only in the dark we may see, for perception clouds our sight.

It sounds exactly like speech!  Your writing is very powerful and understandable, but astoundingly maintains a poetic complexity and feel.

BrianaK BRONZE said...
on May. 1 2012 at 7:41 am
BrianaK BRONZE, Waterford, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Keep Believing"

I liked the way you used figurative language and Rhyme. It was sad, and I really liked when you told about that boy smiling. Keep up the good work

CloClo SILVER said...
on Apr. 13 2012 at 12:43 pm
CloClo SILVER, Scottsdale, Arizona
6 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart. to handle yourself, use your head ;to handle others, use your heart.Anger is only one letter short of danger. If someone betrays you once, it is his fault; if he betrays you twice, it is your fault. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. He who loses money, loses much; he who loses a friend, Loses MUCH more; he who loses Faith, loses all. Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Learn from mistakes of others. You cant live long enough to make them all yourself...... There is no beginning or end. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is Mystery.Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present

I was truly touched and moved by the words and images placed in my head. You have talent and each lined swayed beautifully. I was about to stop reading because it was long, but I couldn't I had to know what happened. Good work!

CloClo SILVER said...
on Apr. 13 2012 at 12:43 pm
CloClo SILVER, Scottsdale, Arizona
6 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart. to handle yourself, use your head ;to handle others, use your heart.Anger is only one letter short of danger. If someone betrays you once, it is his fault; if he betrays you twice, it is your fault. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. He who loses money, loses much; he who loses a friend, Loses MUCH more; he who loses Faith, loses all. Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Learn from mistakes of others. You cant live long enough to make them all yourself...... There is no beginning or end. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is Mystery.Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present

I was truly touched and moved by the words and images placed in my head. You have talent and each lined swayed beautifully. I was about to stop reading because it was long, but I couldn't I had to know what happened. Good work!

on Mar. 21 2012 at 9:30 pm
Swims.M.V. GOLD, Albuquerque, New Mexico
11 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you're not practicing, somebody else is, somewhere, and he'll be ready to take your job."
-Brooks Robinson

That was incredibly powerful I just kept on reading and I had these pictures in my mind you have extreme talent and I am proud to read what you have created. I absolutly loved it. 

on Feb. 6 2012 at 6:07 pm
aurorairis SILVER, Darien, Connecticut
6 articles 0 photos 27 comments
Wow! So powerful! You capture so much raw emotion! Keep writing! Please check out some of my work!

on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:49 pm
it took me at least 30 minutes just read this but all i have to say is that this poem is splendid :) keep writing and im so sorry for your loss :(

on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:41 pm
Hailstorm13 SILVER, Waukesha, Wisconsin
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments
I really like this type of poem and I believe that this particular one was particularly good

Rae-Lynn GOLD said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 12:20 pm
Rae-Lynn GOLD, Fortuna, California
11 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a hot dog... the more you pile on, the messier it gets.

I'm sorry for your loss. So sorry to hear. If you need a shoulder to cry on... Teenink is always here

on Feb. 6 2012 at 10:36 am
ellscreamah96 BRONZE, Waukesha, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments
oh my goodness this was so amazing!!!! the beginning really caught my attention and i wanted to continue reading. one of the best poems i have seen, and its not a surprise this was voted number two! good job and i definitely felt the emotion welled up behind this limerick. WONDERFUL JOB!

on Feb. 6 2012 at 12:38 am
bullen.matt BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"You don't have to win to be the champion, you just have to work your best."

oh my god. i cried to this poem and im a guy. this is one of the saddest poems id ever read. it's an AMAZING poem, AMAZINGLY written, and very touching. i have a best friend and we've always been bros, we even had a little ritual over a fire, with a very sharp rock, slit our biceps, and put our slits over the fire as the blood dripped in the inferno. it's not emo, we're now blood brothers, and i dont know what i would do without my bro.

mikey123 said...
on Jan. 30 2012 at 2:12 pm
um if you didnt know its billie who died it says in the poem maybe you should reread it then you will see

Tremendous said...
on Dec. 29 2011 at 8:38 am
This poem is amazingly written and woven together. Tell your friend he did an amazing job, even if only because you and your late boyfriend used to write. Stay strong! please consider checking my work out as well!