My Best Friend

I promised you a story, and it's a story that I'll tell.
A sad, sorrow story, of my whole life gone to hell.
I've been thinking of memories in the back of my mind,
I've been dwelling on tears, but it's the smiles I find.
For nights, I've lied awake,
Taking on all of my mistakes.
Words I've regretted and good decisions, I've spared-
I know he knew all along that we really cared.
I remember your smile as you hugged me goodbye,
I remember your tears as you started to cry.
I promised a story and it's a story I'll tell.
A long, endless story and I'll tell it well.

I remember your son, in the back of Goodwill,
Waiting for me to come, waiting there until-
I arrived late but he never did go.
He licked my face and I walked very slow.
I smiled in delight at my silly new friend,
I never wanted those moments to end.
But sadly they did; yet I knew we'd meet again,
All those years I had lost, this one I did win.

A Sarah and a Billie-
They were always so silly.
They were my first taste of love,
Best friends- heaven sent, from above.

"Spell my name with an 'ie!'"
He told me one day,
And from then on, I always spelt it that way.
I shied away when we spoke on the phone,
I'd always rather be alone.
I stayed up late, and laughed at his jokes,
I was alive and it was no hoax.

Is it a sin to attend church when
You're lacking faith? Is it a sin?
I did it anyways.

I longed for Wednesdays and sometimes Sundays, too.
I longed to smile with my best friends, to get the day through.
I remember my mother and the hate that she brought.
She disliked my friends and she always fought.
I remember a birthday when I was filled with joy.
I remember the cake fight, and the smile on that boy.
He, Sarah, and I- we rolled down the hill.
We were alive and full of free will.

We were full of laughter, of kisses, of hugs.
Sometimes we'd even, pretend to be thugs.
We were full of confusion, just trying to get by,
We'd stay up too late, asking the world, "why?"
Things got rough, and there wasn't much we could do.
We all began to cry, and I missed those two.
"It would be nice if we could run away,"
Things would all be great some day.

I was wrong and usually out of my place,
And always he came, to join my silly race.
We were full of anger, from time to time,
We even committed some stupid crimes.

Sarah and I knew what it was to feel alone,
And we could hear the truth, just behind someone's tone.
They locked away our best of friend,
We never wanted our memories to end.

Things were getting rougher, and we didn't know what to do.
We all cried too much, and I always missed those two.

I met a boy that I took into my life,
And he helped me through all my difficulties and strife.
I stopped writing my best of friends,
It was my fault that our memories did end.
I cried some nights, and I looked for pity,
I tried to be smart, I tried to be witty.
All wasn't lost, or at least I wouldn't let it be,
I hadn't changed and I would make them really see.

I made some mistakes, repeatedly, on end.
I knew that they would be hard to fully mend.
My best friends came back; still that boy was my one,
I looked at him and I saw the sun.
Can you blame a little girl, for falling in love?
But what happened to her best friends- heaven sent, from above?

I lied out my teeth and I shouted in anger,
I knew our friendship was in grave danger.
But I didn't care, I was blinded by love.

I never got to set things right
Because my best friend ended his life that night.
I cry at night, before I fall asleep
About a friendship I longed to keep.
I shut my closet door before I close my eyes,
Afraid he's hanging there, in disguise.
I dream dreams of happy endings,
But when I open my eyes, I know things aren't mending.

Where are my best friends now, you may ask.
She is lonely, and he completed his task.
Things got the roughest they had ever been,
And we were all alone, without a single friend.

I remember the morning when I heard what was true,
I didn't want to believe it; I didn't know what to do.
I called my best friend Sarah, even though we'd grow away,
I cried until I could cry no more, "Things shouldn't be this way."
I focused on my pain for two whole weeks in school,
But I couldn't be alone, I wouldn't be a fool.

I remember the night when I sat in my kitchen floor,
I was angry with my boyfriend, for talking to a w****.
We were about to carve pumpkins, when I got the phone call,
I dropped on my knees, and all I could do was bawl.

I wore a rainbow and some pink tights,
If he could see me then, he'd want to take back our fights.
His face was pale, and his hands were cold.
With his poorly done make-up, he looked very old.
I kissed his forehead and I began to weep,
I cried about the friendship that I had failed to keep.
I hugged the friends, some I hardly knew,
But really, I didn't know what else to do.

Today we may smile but we're all really dead,
Billie's always there, in the back of our head.
I hope he forgives me for all the times I was wrong,
I hope he knows for his smile, I do long.

It will never be the same, Sarah, Billie, and I.
We'll always be wondering why our best friend chose to die.

I promised you a story and it's a story I did tell,
Hold this close when your heart hurts like hell.
Now it's time for goodbyes, and I hope all is well.
Hold this close when your heart hurts like hell.