The Place Where I Was Born

May 1, 2018
By Anonymous

These lines may seem to be out of style
Because I’m not used to talk in a rhyme
Especially when it comes to emotions
But it does not stop me from writing these notions

We all have a place, that each one holds dear
The place where things shine, and love, and then cheer
I do have a place like this in my head
But now it’s not shining with sunlight ahead

These lines are so hard for me to push out
Each word feels so heavy, like drifting apart
But I can’t stop it, not anymore
There is just too much, so I want to be sure

I want to know that these feelings are real
Because all who I know, love to tell me how to feel
What opinion I should have, what things should I see
They always tell me - I’m blind in my dream

You see, once again, I am losing my rhime
But while I am writing, I am beginning to cry
Because this is not something I can describe
There is just too much, of what I’m saying tonight

Now let’s get back to where we were now
There is a place, where I want to be now
Or maybe not now, maybe sometime later
But even an hour would be happiest ever

The place is not shining, it’s not filled with gold
It’s a place where I grew up, where I was just born
I’ve lived there for twelve years of my not long life
And now it’s so hard to push it in rhyme

Everyone tell me the same exact thing
Why would you go there, that’s such stupid dream
The place is just horrible, dangers on ends
There is nothing to come back to, just stay where life sends

To which I will always answer same thing
How much do I care, if I know there’s something?
How much do I care what I hear on the news?
How much longer can I get through all of these loops?

The loops of politics, the loops of trade
The loops of immigration, the loops of decade.
I’m sorry, I can’t. Not anymore
Because first of all, you speak of my home

To me the place is not about Putin
Not about Trump, or even Rasputin
I don’t give a s*** about all of these things
I have a home, and there are my friends

There are some pieces of my whole life
And I truly need them, I need to survive
The place might seem wrecked, the country is rotting
But I don’t believe it, I know it’ll start coming

I still want to go there, to see my whole life
Because there, to some part, I am still a child
The child that has everything, that is never crying
And most importantly, her father is still smiling

To you this might be just a big land
Maybe an enemy, maybe a friend
But to me it’s a place that I still can call home
To me, it’s a place. Place where I was born

The author's comments:

I came from Russia 4 years ago with my family. The same year my father, who stayed in Russia, passed away. We could not come back, because we knew that if we would, we would not be allowed back to the US, so we could not attend his funeral. On one hand, this made me feel even more shocked, but on the other, it gave me a sense of "recovery" and a feeling that he is still somewhere close. For all 4 years we could not come back, and a few months ago my mom finally said that this summer we will go! And then, the very next day, we found out that some representatives from Russia were expelled out of a Union, and now the immigration process got even riskier and hard. She told me it will be too risky to go and we did not buy the tickets. I felt really angry and sad, it was injustice and unfreedom. I felt like it's wrong to make immigrant families suffer for the causes of international affairs. International affairs are leaders - not their people. And people are the once who suffer in the end.
I was crying while writing these lines, they came out from the heart, even though I never wrote poetry like this.
With this piece of work, I hope to influence international conflicts for the better, and I hope my story will be a call to have fewer arguments and more peace in the world. All I want is to come to my country with no fear of being cut away from my family. I want peace, and I know it's possible. Because millions of others want it, too.

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