as someone who has a difficult time
going through any and all categories of pain,
always attempting
to shove my problems and hardships under a rug,
or tuck them deep into the crevices of my musty closets.

all too soon,
   my thoughts,
became angry with me,
since i had been suppressing them all this time.
they suddenly decided that they wanted a mind of their own.

And i had no choice
    but to sit still,
and listen to what they must confess to me,
all of my frustrated thoughts,
whom i had waved off as being dramatic.

there were no questions to be asked
about why i feel so empty and dispassionate,
like a lark, who has slept through the morning,
and into the afternoon without even realizing it
or about how my state of life went so wrong so quickly.

but to just simply sit and feel

and to my great surprise
that is when i learned so much about myself
and how strong and grounded i could be,

how steady warrior two’s
and harmonious flows,
the silence and sweat
could somehow soothe my worried mind.

how being being alone with my thoughts is in fact quite lovely
and calming and refreshing,

and how for the first time in a long time,
i was able to hear my own thoughts,
inspect them with a magnifying glass,
allowing my heart to be brutally honest with my brain,

i realized that some steps are meant to be taken alone.
and that i belong deeply to myself,
before i belong to anyone else.