Dear the teacher that judges me
Based on my inability to speak freely
Dear everyone who doesn't take time to really know me
If you knew what skeletons I have buried deep in the graveyard of the past
If you saw the pain and the path of my tears
You might just think before saying I need to clear my ears
For it's the words that made this wall
The wall that hides my feelings
And is the defense that keeps the wounds from growing deeper.
The wall is the fake persona of my strength
When the reality is I have lost it all
The images fill my mind
Reminding me of the turn of family and friends
Losing all trust in myself
And internalizing everything inside
Pushing my feelings down
Not allowing a frown
For it shows weakness
And you would begin to view me as helpless
To the one that doubts my scars of the past
Because they don't show on the top of my skin
Instead crawling just underneath
Bubbling trying my hardest to keep them from erupting
For those that judge my past
After the time I spent to open up
For trust is an issue
One that is justified just take a peek at my scar tissue
See the hurtful words cutting deep
The constant bullying that all started in grade three
Fearing the outside and being pinned not able to breathe
Realizing that you are on the brink of dying
Trying with all of your might to stay alive but stay quiet
For the squeaky wheel doesn't always get greased
In this case I was fearing getting replaced
By a picture on a mantle and saddened memories
Instead I've got an internal battle
The scars not showing
Just like the regret of not telling my father I loved him
And just like that he was gone
Laying motionless
I'm trying to stay emotionless
To steer away from your judgement
That rejects my past
And the adversity I've grown from
The hardships I took on
But I just wish you could accept me as am
And not expect me to meet your expectations of what I am