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My mom was a heroin addict.
She left me at a park on a cold and chilly day.
She told me she would come back.
I waited for hours in the cold.
I could not feel my hands, my nose was red, my bones ached.
I slept next to a beautiful evergreen tree.
I built a small fort out of snow.
I waited in it for my mom.
Snow fell off trees, branches broke, the wind howled as if it were an angry wolf.
I could not bear to breathe in the cold air.
My lungs hurt as badly as the frost bite on my toes.
Not once did I leave.
After that day, I realized she would never come back for me.
I was 10 years old.
A police officer found me sitting next to the evergreen tree.
He reported me missing.
No one claimed me.
My mom did not want me.
My hope was diminished.
I was brought to an orphanage.
No one adopted me.
People looked at me and then looked away with disgust in their faces.
People thought I looked like a monster.
Kids laughed at me and threw their food at me.
The officer who had brought me to the orphanage has visited me every couple of months and never missed my birthday.
He brought me flavorful food.
My mouth always watered.
The food here had no flavor and tasted like mud.
He always brought me a piece of cake and a candle to blow out on birthday.
He sang happy birthday to me.
He told me stories that no one has ever heard before.
He told me that his ex- wife had stolen all of his money and left him.
He told me that he would have adopted me sooner but money was an issue.
He told me that he was going to adopt me one day when he had more money.
The second he told me that, my whole face lit up.
I was overjoyed and jumped in the air.
I felt as if I was on cloud nine and that I was dreaming.
I hugged him so tight.
God had listened to all my prayers.
He wanted me to have a new life.
Little did I know that it would never come true.
The day the officer left, I learned that he was later shot by a gang member.
My heart ached and tightened.
Teardrops rolled down my cheek.
The rest of my tears followed in an endless stream.
It was so hard to breathe.
That second, I remembered the day I was in the park alone.
I was so cold and I could barely breathe in the air.
My lungs burned.
My mom was my rock.
She told me that she had loved me.
But if she had loved me, why did she leave me in the cold and horrific snow storm?
She never loved me.
She only loved her heroin. She had love for something that was killing her.
I had a chance to love someone again.
Someone who had actually cared about me.
My chance was stolen and my heart was forever broken.