February 20, 2018
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I wish I could paint underneath my words a cheery yellow
I wish I could paint the spaces in between a happy blue
I wish I could fix my smile so it didn’t return so pained
and so it hangs forever behind my eyes


I wish I could slow my heartbeat to a comforting lullaby
And smooth out the nightmares in my sleep
Like wrinkles in a bedsheet
Make myself a peaceful place to sleep


I wish I could wear the weathering on my face as a thing of the past
I wish I could tell you I felt better in a voice smooth and full of honey
And I wish I could mean it

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