Everything bad that has happened to you
is my fault,
I know.
You’ve told me so many times.

Every curse word you learned
at school
you screamed into my face.
You know more than I do.

I’m sorry you look
a little different.

The principal told me about
how you got locked in the bathroom,
with the lights off.
I know you hate the dark.
You know that they
don’t care…

I know you think I can’t understand.
and I’m sorry,
I really can’t.

I hear you crying at night,
kicking the wall,
punching the headboard so hard
that I can feel the walls shudder.

I’m sorry that you have to listen to me
trying to help
screaming at people on the phone,
sobbing into my pillow.
I’m just trying to find a way
to protect you!

“Why do you care for someone
you don’t love?”

Your words kill me
they sizzle and ache in my chest and face.
They seize me by the bare skin of my neck
and squeeze so hard, that
I forget how to breathe!

I may be stupid,
and keep making mistakes that hurt you,
but I would never question
how much of my heart you take up.

You fill me to the brim,
all the way!
I have nothing but you!

That’s why I’m so,
so sorry.
That I’m crying right now,
thinking about you.

I’m so incredibly sorry
that you can’t talk to me about things,
because our worlds are so different.
I’m sorry,
that I have to leave you
alone…

I just wish
that you would give me a hug,
even if it’s only once
every six thousand years.