January 25, 2018

How do you decide to be happy?

Is it just a sudden decision, an impulse?

Do you simply look in the mirror and say to yourself " i deserve better"?

Because if that's what it takes, I will gladly do it.

I want to be happy.

I want to rejoice in the feeling of the sun against my skin.

but instead i find solace in the darkness of my room and the warmth of my bed that I neve willingly leave.

I want to believe that I deserve better.

I want to be happy.

But how do you convince yourself that you deserve better?

What if you don't think you do?

What if you know, deep down, that you dont deserve better? 

Because I don't. 

I've been awful

The more I think about it, I am starting to believe that I don't deserve to be happy.

But I want to be happy.

How do you earn that happiness? 

How do you fix yourself?

How do you begin to deserve it?

How do you decide to be happy? 

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