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Don't let failure pass you
My eyes flutter open
and jerk my body up to notice it's 1PM
and already missed three of my classes.
I shrug my shoulders,
roll my eyes, ease my body off the grey futon
and walked over my smelly wrinkled clothes
to get a beer from the fridge.
I crack open a Miller light feeling the cold ice touch my palm
as I clear my chair from all the used beer cans
and dirty clothes.
I sit softly, staring at my math homework
that was due four days ago that is still not finished.
I take a drink feeling the cold sour taste run down my throat
and sink into my liver as I think of what I did at the party last night.
I feel a buzz go off in my matte black pants,
I pull out my phone to have the brightness burning my eyes until they adjust,
my mother sent me text
and she saw my grades.
I set my drink and phone next to each other on the old maple desk
watching the water slip down the can
and spread throughout the maple wood.
I lean forward putting both my hands over my dry face
feeling my heart pound hard against my chest
and think of what excuse to say.
The message was all hate and dissatisfaction
and my mother knew I was better.
I set my phone down gently as tears form up in my eyes
knowing I'm failing her.
and the only problem that is making me go out to parties,
stay out late, and miss class is myself.
I slam my arms on my study desk
and place my head on top of my frail arms as a tear dribbles against my skin.
The thought of me knowing that this is my last year
as a Purdue student
and I'm falling apart due to me being lazy
and slacking off my school work kills me.
I don't want to end as a 50%,
I want to end on a 100%
and I don't want to remember oversleeping,
I want to remember waking up on time
and ready for the day.
I lift my head up high,
wipe the tears off my face
and throw away the beer cans that engulf my floor.
I walked over kneel down to my drawer
and pull out a semi clean Purdue shirt,
threw on my backpack,
took a deep heavy breath as I look into the mirror,
grab my keys
and out the door I went
to my next class.
I will not tolerate this so it can
prevent me from getting my
Computer science degree.