In that moment, I realized i had placed all of my happiness upon you and only you alone. it was horrific to come to terms with. realizing my happiness was placed on your terms and not mine. i was a fool to do this to myself once again but once you get into an aggressive cycle, sometimes it's hard to break. in that moment, hearing your voice stop time and still my heart, i realized my happiness was so far out of reach. it would be impossible to get to. so many miles and lengths would have to be crossed and in that moment, i realized i couldn't expect you to wait. i couldn't be expected to wait. i could expect to fall more and more with each conversation in complete realization that all i wanted was seemingly getting farther and farther out of distance, because all you wanted was someone to hold and all i needed was love. i was too far away to be held, in that moment.