I have hung on
For so long.
Knowing something is still there.
Praying that you would finally
Give in to what I know
In your heart
You really want.
I know that that day will come,
But I don't know if it will be
You see, a person can only take
So much hurt before they
That will be the day that you realize
What you gave up.
You will realize how much you truly
Care about me.
You will try to play it off.
Try to ignore the hurt.
You will start talking to other girls
Trying to fill that void.
And they will...
Until you realize that she doesn't smile like I do.
Or that her eyes are not the same color or shape as mine.
Or that she doesn't have my accent when she talks.
And that her laugh is not like mine.
You will desperately try to find
Just one thing
That reminds you
You will resent her for not being me
But will hate her when you find any resemblance...
Because in that moment,
You're reminded of how badly
You want me
To be there.
You want me
To be the one staring back at you.
But I am not.
You will stare into the darkness.
Not able to close your eyes without seeing
When you are finally able to fall asleep,
You will dream of me.
Only to awake to the painful realization that
Those dreams are not real...
But the hurt couldn't be anymore.
I will not be there
And it will take everything in you
To stop yourself from picking up the phone
And dialing my number.
But you won't.
Hearing my voice would break you.
You will be driving down the road
Flipping through radio stations
Trying to find a song that doesn't
Remind you of me.
But then it happens...
The opening notes of
The painful memory of
Our first dance
Floods back into you mind.
You will want to forget me.
But you can't.
You will be talking with people
Who will suddenly ask if you know
How I have been doing
Or if you have seen me lately.
But you won't be able to give a real answer.
You will have to leave the conversation at the mention of
To keep from loosing it.
You can delete all the pictures...
Remove all the songs from your playlist...
Try to forget all the years of memories...
You can try to move on,
But you will look for me in everyone you meet.
You will always wonder what
Would have been like.
You mean more to me
Than words will ever describe.
So I only hope and pray
That you realize how
Real and Rare