sometimes

looking back on things

life to me

wasn't so great

i think that the best things

were the times when i didn't 

feel so alone

when people talked to me

like i 

was a human being

when people talked to me 

at all

when the ignorance

of my so-called

"problem"

was the best thing i had

it described me

it taught me

it

became me

i became the definition of my illness

the festering void inside me

waiting to consume me 

all of me 

my friends 

my family 

all became nothing to me

looking back

my ignorance of myself

was a gift

it helped me ignore the fact

that i might die

just because

my brain told me to

the problem

with being anxious

is that you care too much

of everything 

the problem

with depression

is not caring about anything

having both

is a death sentence

the depression about 

the people ignoring me

made me 

ignore myself