I used to better at existing
I could remember a time
When all of my cogs moved
Smoothly against one another,
When my metronome heart
Would beat in perfect rhythm
With those around me

I could remember a feeling in my chest,
Like a mint Aero bar
Now it feels like pound cake
And being sick to your stomach

Deep breath in
Deep breath out
Remember a time when your lungs
weren’t filled with sand

Your tears will water gardens
Bright poppies and chrysanthemums
Will spring up around your toes
Mother always said
This too shall pass

Stand completely still
Let the calm wash over you
Like symphony number nine
And cold ocean waves
Consuming, in a good way

The moment before death
When your life flashes before your eyes
You will not remember a hollow loneliness and bathroom floors
You will remember Christmas eve candles
And hope

Go to sleep now
And wake to better.