Inside Me

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You were my blood, saturated in gasoline.
You were in my veins, polluting me from the inside.
You were injected into my main stream,
You were alive, until you died within me,
Leaving a deep residue behind.
You were my poison,
And yet somehow what I lived off of.

You were my eclipse,
You were my doubts.
You were my hate,
My self-loathing,
My pain.
You were every reason why.

But I have cleansed you away,
And nothing but memories remain.
Memories are strong,
They are full of nostalgia and longing,
Longing for that sickening diagnosis
So you can call yourself something other than worthless.

You were my twisted light,
You were what mangled my heart,
You were, you were, you were.
You were my everything.

Every splintered joint I held onto with broken bones,
Every collapsed smile that felt so forced and lethal.
Every sentence I uttered,
Every poem I now have to rewrite in order to forget.

You were my identity.
You were what I thought I was,
You were what you were.
You were the abyss of torture I was consumed by,
Depression.






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