sometimes i ask myself / how it is possible / to feel so heartbroken / when you’ve never / been in love / and it is true / that a boy’s touch / or lack thereof / was not what broke me / you see / i was never in love with people / but with the planet / the way the sun sets every night / burying itself into an ocean / of orange and pink / and revealing its face again each morning / like a magic trick / still impressive every time it gets performed // i was in love with autumn /  the blades of a leaf shedding to reveal / a circulatory system / as complex as my own / back when veins were just beauty / and not the tragedy that is a blooming flower / the need to open up // i was in love with myself / the hairpin curves under my eyes / and the oceans within / always beautiful and never burning // but / the world stopped loving me / and in turn i broke my own heart / you see / when the thing you love most / doesn’t love you back / you begin to see the world in only shades of grey / the force of gravity between me and my bed / grew stronger / but why would i ever want to / leave my bed / when the air outside felt like / acid on my skin / why would i want to love again / when the world made everything taste / like blood / made everything sound / like the barrel of a gun / made everything / shift / like tectonic plates / setting off an earthquake inside of me / i was never in love in with a person / yet my heart has / been / broken